HOW TO BLOW UP TOLLINS
It's Peter Pan with attitude as Conn Iggulden, creator of the phenomenal bestseller The Dangerous Book for Boys, presents three big adventures about very little people…“Tollins are also a lot less fragile than fairies. In fact, the word 'fragile' can't really be used about them at all. They are about as fragile as a housebrick…"In these three tales, Conn Iggulden explores the explosive, magical and adventurous world of the Tollins, all delightfully illustrated by Lizzy Duncan. Complete with thrilling cliff-hangers, evil plots, derring-do and even the odd fairy (usually squashed), this is the book every boy reader has been waiting for. You’ve met Tinkerbell – now get ready to meet little people as you have never known them before. Just don't ever call them fairies…
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Contents
Dedication
CAST OF CHARACTERS
BOOK ONE - HOW TO BLOW UP TOLLINS
CHAPTER ONE - THE YEAR 1922, DURING THE REIGN OF KING GEORGE V
CHAPTER TWO - SERIOUS AND DETERMINED MEN WITH BEARDS
CHAPTER THREE - THE VITAL IMPORTANCE OF SALAMI
CHAPTER FOUR - TALKING TO BEARDS
BOOK TWO - SPARKLER AND THE PURPLE DEATH
CHAPTER ONE - HOW AMPUTATION CAN BE A BLESSING
CHAPTER TWO - THE HIGH TOLLIN MAKES THINGS QUITE CLEAR
CHAPTER THREE - NO HOPE AND NOTHING TO READ, EITHER
CHAPTER FOUR - THE LAST PLACE THEY WOULD EVER THINK TO SEARCH
CHAPTER FIVE - TEA AND EXECUTION
BOOK THREE - WINDBAGS AND DARK TOLLINS
CHAPTER ONE - PURE RESEARCH AND THE PROBLEM WITH PUMPS
CHAPTER TWO - WHY ROAST BEETLE IS ALWAYS THE RIGHT CHOICE
CHAPTER THREE - HIGH HOPES
CHAPTER FOUR - HIGH TEA
CHAPTER FIVE - LOW PLOTS AND HOT WATER
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
THE YEAR 1922, DURING THE REIGN OF KING GEORGE V
Tollins are not fairies. Though they both have wings, fairies are delicate creatures and much smaller. When he was young, Sparkler accidentally broke one and had to shove it behind a bush before its friends noticed.
In addition, fairies cannot sing B-sharp. They can manage a very nice B-flat, in quite a sweet voice, but B-sharp comes out like a frog being run over by a bicycle. Tollins regard fairies as fluttery show-offs and occasionally use them to wipe out the insides of cups. Tollins are also a lot less fragile than fairies. In fact, the word ‘fragile’ can’t really be used about them at all. They are about as fragile as a housebrick.
Before that summer when the world changed, Sparkler had looked forward to a full life containing nothing more dangerous than wrestling angry bees off flowers, or occasionally dancing with other Tollins at the full moon. He loved to dance, even when he trod on the toes of the others, or tripped over a fairy ring. Fairies never tripped, or fell over, so when they tried to take part, Tollins always began a singing competition instead. In the key of B. If the fairies stamped their little feet and rose to the challenge, they sounded like silver bells being dunked in soup before they gave up. Tollins enjoyed that.
When Sparkler was born, his parents enjoyed a simple life of fluttering around at the bottom of people’s gardens. The most exciting thing that had ever happened to them was being chased by two little girls, until they were fortunately distracted by a pony. Adults were no danger. They just couldn’t see Tollins, even if they were really close.
At first, the Tollins had thought nothing of the serious men with large beards and even larger boots who suddenly seemed to be everywhere, measuring things with bits of string and nodding to each other. Yet in just a short time, they had transformed the little village of Chorleywood. First they had run rails for clanking trains, then they built their firework factory. It had very thick walls and an extremely thin roof, just in case.
The Tollins hadn’t minded the fireworks being tested. Some nights, Sparkler had gathered with his parents and grandparents to watch the serious, bearded men light them, one after the other. None of the fireworks went whee or had colours back then>*. They just went bang and made the men jump and clap their hands together, almost like the children they had once been.
The ‘Great Firework Discovery’ had been an accident, really. One of the youngest Tollins had crept too close to a firework on the bench of the factory. While no one was around, the little one climbed into the tube of something called a ‘Roman Candle’. Just as he was tasting a pinch of the black powder inside, it all went dark and he was trapped.
The other Tollins searched for him, of course, but there was no sign. That night, the first fireworks were the usual sort, jumping and spluttering, but then the Roman Candle was lit, and the world changed forever.
Sparkler had been there, sitting on a wall with his family. He still remembered the way the Roman Candle leapt into the air, trailing a shower of blue sparks before exploding with a bang that knocked one of the men down. The man’s beard was on fire when he stood up, but that didn’t stop him cheering as he patted the flames out.
In the silence, in the night air, the Tollins heard the voice of the little one they had lost.
“Heeeeelp!” he yelled. The older Tollins looked at each other and their wings vibrated so fast you could hardly see them. They leapt up into the darkness and one of them caught the little Tollin as he fell.
He was bruised but alive, though his wings were in tatters. Those would grow back in time, but he also seemed to have gone deaf and couldn’t understand the questions they were all asking.
“What?” he kept saying. “I was in the firework! No, in it! Didn’t you see? What?”
