Waitâdid youâYou just yawned!â The vampireâs arms, raised over his head in the classic Dracula pose, dropped to his sides. He pulled his exaggerated white fangs back behind his lips. âWhat, imminent death isnât exciting enough for you?â
âOh, stop pouting. But, really, the widowâs peak? The pale skin? The black cape? Where did you even get that thing, a costume store?â
He raised himself to his full height and glared icily down at me. âIâm going to suck the life from your pretty white neck.â
I sighed. I hate the vamp jobs. They think theyâre so suave. Itâs not enough for them to slaughter and eat you like a zombie would. No, they want it to be all sexy, too. And, trust me: vampires? Not. Sexy. I mean, sure, their glamours can be pretty hot, but the dry-as-bone corpse bodies shimmering underneath? Nothing attractive there. Not that anyone else can see them, though.
He hissed. Just as he reached for my neck, I tased him. I was there to bag and tag, not to kill. Besides, if I had to carry separate weapons for every paranormal I took out, Iâd be dragging around a full luggage set. Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mineâs pink with rhinestones. Tasey and I have had a lot of good times together.
The vamp twitched on the ground, unconscious. He looked kind of pathetic now; I almost felt bad for him. Imagine your grandpa. Now imagine your grandpa minus fifty pounds plus two hundred years. Thatâs who Iâd just electrified.
Taseyâs work done, I reholstered her and pulled out the vamp-specific ankle bracelet. I placed my index finger in the middle of the smooth black surface. After a few seconds it glowed green. Grabbing the vampâs ankle, I pulled his pants leg up to reveal the skin. I hated looking at these guys and seeing their pure white, smooth skin at the same time as their shriveled corpse bodies. I clamped the tracker on, and it adjusted to the circumference of his ankle. Two soft hisses sounded as the sensors activated and shot into his flesh. His eyes flew open.
âOuch!â He grabbed at his ankle, and I backed up a few steps. âWhat is this?â
âYouâre under arrest under statute three point seven of the International Paranormal Containment Agreement, Vampire Protocol. You are required to report to the nearest processing facility in Bucharest. If you fail to report within the next twelve hours, you will beââ
He lunged for me. Sidestepping, I let him trip over a low gravestone. âIâll kill you!â he hissed, trying to pick himself up off the ground.
âYeah, you really donât want to do that. That shiny new piece of jewelry I gave you? Itâs got two little sensorsâthink of them as needlesâjammed into your ankle. And if your body temperature were to suddenly rise, say by the addition of human blood, the sensors would inject you with holy water.â
His eyes widened in horror as he tried to pull the bracelet off, scraping against its sides.
âDonât do that, either. If the seal is broken, holy water, poof. Got it? And I activated the timer and beacon. So not only do they know exactly where you are, they also know your time limit to get to Bucharest. Miss it, andâdo I really need to tell you?â
His shoulders slumped. âI could just snap your neck,â he said, but I could tell it was halfhearted.
âYou could try. And I could tase you again so hard you wouldnât wake up for six hours, giving you even less time to make it to Romania. So, can I keep reading you your rights?â He didnât say anything, and I picked up where I left off. âIf you fail to report within the next twelve hours, you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you.â
I always thought that last line was a nice touch.
The vamp looked dejected, sitting there on the ground and facing the end of his freedom. I held out a hand. âNeed help up?â I asked. After a moment he reached out and took it. I pulled him up; vamps are surprisingly light. Having no internal fluidsâll do that to you. âIâm Evie.â