Pregnancy

There can be no generalizations about pregnancy – every person’s experience is unique, and while one woman may feel tired and low, another is bouncing around with more energy than she has ever had. It’s the same with labour: one person may be beset with problems, another apparently ‘breeze’ through it. This book is not about what pregnancy should be, because there is no such thing. It is a guide through the weeks and months, intended to answer your questions …

‘The journey into parenthood is one of the most exciting transitions and times in your life. It is a wonderful opportunity to explore who you are so that you can open yourself to welcoming your new baby. Many men and women say that their children teach them so much. Enjoy the exploration.’

Dr Yehudi Gordon

Ecstatic, shocked, numb, surprised, pleased, unsure … all these are common reactions to the confirmation of pregnancy. In a moment of truth, life changes completely. There is another person in your life and he – or she – is already dependent on you.

The idea of being responsible can be unnerving, but it is good to know that your body is prepared to nurture this life, to give birth, and to mother. A man, too, is genetically primed to be a father. This is nature’s most basic intent, and nature is always there to help you. Even so, you may need to make changes to create the best possible pregnancy environment for you and your baby. You may also need some effort – and courage – to accept the changes that are happening to you.

There are three crucial elements to pregnancy. The first is your baby – what kind of life will she have in the womb, and how will she enter the world and be welcomed? The second is you – how you feel, and how you nurture yourself and your relationship. The third is birth. How will you prepare to realise your dreams and help your baby through a peaceful transition, and to adjust if things don’t go as you expect?

Science, religion, folklore and mythology do not between them have the answer to life – what it is that makes each baby such a charismatic, engaging and unique person. There are suspicions and anecdotes as well as scientifically proven facts, however, that reveal how important pregnancy is for a baby’s physical and emotional wellbeing. Your baby is your passenger, and while you cannot take full responsibility for her development or character, you can take steps to create the best possible environment for her to thrive and to prepare for life beyond the womb. Changes that take place naturally during pregnancy help you to do this.

In nine months you may feel more emotions than you thought possible. This is as true for a man as it is for a woman, although a woman is more likely to be carried by unpredictable emotional tides.

All your feelings, however light, dark, crazy or confusing, are important, hormonally influenced or otherwise. Not only does pregnancy mark the threshold of a hugely significant change in your life, it also opens you to emotional aspects of yourself that may have been hidden for years, even since your own childhood. Physical changes, altered sleep patterns and dreams encourage emotions to surface into your unconscious or conscious mind. Sometimes this is exciting, amazing even; sometimes it is confronting and difficult to integrate.

The myth that pregnant women feel constantly happy is reality for some people. Indeed, this may be the best time of your life. If it’s not, you may be reassured to know that this is normal too. If negative feelings continue, do confide in someone you trust. Expressing your emotions with someone you trust could help to improve your experience of pregnancy and your confidence. It may be more valuable now than at any other time of your life.

Even in early pregnancy your baby has a powerful presence.