This Is The Way

There I was now. In a room, a tidy room, tidier than any room I been in before. The bed was hard. The walls they gave no sound. A heavy window thumped itself shut. Good I says. Peace I says. First time I been in a hotel room though I was in an apartment once in the Canary. That smelt of bleach, this smelt of paint. I took in the room, I enjoyed it I did. I felt settled after what had been. I thought of the very nice girl in the hall at the desk. I thought of her the whole time I been in the room. I might ask her I says. I went in the toilet I seen they had not built the sink well but I came out in the room again I says I like this. I could live in this room I says.

When I got the call from my cousin Jimmy I went down to meet him in the hall. My cousin Jimmy was thirteen year older than me and he was my mother’s eldest brother Thom’s eldest boy. He was a bald man with gold teeth and tattoos on his hands and neck. We sat in chairs around a glass table.

He says are you liking the room.

I says it’s grand. It’s better than grand I says.

The business is appreciated he says.

No problem I says.

You know you’re the only guest he says.

That true I says.

Did you see the picture of Raekwon in the bathroom he says.

No I did not I says.

You’re in the Raekwon room he says. Every room’s named after a rap star.

That so I says.

It is he says. But listen.

What I says.

Sorry he says.

What you saying sorry for I says.

He turned to look at the girl at the desk. The girl was watching television.

He says in a low voice you cannot stay here hear me.

What you saying to me I says.

He says some of the young lads in the town know about you here. They know you’re in Rath in the hotel. They see you come cruising into town as chastisement he says.

I wasn’t cruising nowhere I says.

Anthony he says.

I says there isn’t no way they should see it as chastisement. Do they know who me mother is.

Anthony Anthony says Jimmy. There’s no changing the way young lads’ minds work.

Who told them I’m here I says.

Jimmy looked over at the girl again. Could have been her he says. The girls is worse than the boys.

And when should I leave I says.

Now he says. Tonight he says.

That bad I says.

There’s fellas shouting your name in the town he says. We don’t want this thing starting up again.

Sounds if it’s already started I says.

Could have he says. I don’t know.

Fuck I says. Where will I go I says.

He says I was you I’d lie low for a time. Go to Dublin.

I just come from Dublin I says.

Not your father’s house he says. Go into the city of Dublin, go to a place they wouldn’t think of going he says.

Fuck I says.

Serious Anthony no one needs this trouble he says.

I did not know what to think because Jimmy could be the fool what I knew of him but later in the night my mind was made up for me. The phone in my room rang it was the girl at the desk.

Is that your car out the front she says.

Mine’s the only one there isn’t it I says.

You better come down she says.

I ran down to the hall I couldn’t believe what I seen. I seen outside my car was burning.

I says to the girl who done this.

She was still watching television she says I haven’t seen nothing.

I ran out to the car I could not get near to it the heat. I looked about I could not see anyone. The hotel was a mile out of the town, all about was dark fields. I ran past my car I ran across the road in a field. I waited behind the hedge. I rang Jimmy I says to him Jimmy you better get here and you better get me out of here.