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First published in Great Britain by Harper 2015
Copyright © Lindsey Kelk 2015
Cover illustration © Bree Leman
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Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2015
Lindsey Kelk asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the authorâs imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9780007582372
Ebook Edition © November 2015 ISBN: 9780007582389
Version: 2018-10-25
Doesnât everyone wish they could go back in time and change the past?
First, Iâd do the world a favour and kill whoever invented the front-facing camera on the iPhone; second, Iâd try to convince the parents of some of humanityâs worst offenders to use more advanced family planning methods; and third, I would never, ever have kissed that man.
Or possibly any men. Just to be safe.
It had been the most ridiculous six months on record, not only of my life but quite possibly ever. I wasnât sure if there was a way to check against everyone elseâs cockups but my list was pretty impressive as far as I was concerned. Yes, there had been a lot of fun parts. Hawaii, Milan, New York, Nick ⦠but dear God, the mistakes I had made. And, as Amy always said, there was no âclear historyâ button for your heart. Actually, Amy always said there was no clear history button for your vagina but still, the sentiment was the same.
But there I was, against all the odds, standing in a dressing room, wearing a dress I never thought Iâd wear, minutes away from changing my life for good.
No pressure, then.
âIs it too late to elope?â
The door to the dressing room cracked open and Kekipi slipped inside, smiling.
âIt might be,â I replied, looking at myself in the enormous, three-paned mirror that almost took over the room. âIâve got the frock on, youâre in a suit, all the guests are here. Probably going to have to go through with it.â
He took both of my hands in his and kissed me on the cheek. âWell, itâs so easy to get a divorce these days, Iâm not too worried. Letâs be honest, Iâm not actually sure it will be entirely legal in the first place.â
I managed a half-smile and nodded. âYou, sir, make a very good point.â
âYou look beautiful, by the way, white is your colour.â Kekipi reached out to brush one of my semi-tamed curls back behind my ear. âYou get a pass.â
The curl he had tried to tether sprang back in front of my face and Kekipi rolled his eyes. The rest of my hair had been bullied into something like a bun, although there were so many curls involved it looked more like a Danish pastry gone wrong. I had to stop believing I could do something just because Iâd seen it on YouTube. The hairdresser had given up after an hour and I really, really should have taken her advice and left it well alone.
âI think you look very handsome,â I said with a mini curtsey, ignoring my mullet. It was true, he did. His bronze skin shone and his hair, usually slightly wavy and a little bit wild, had been brushed into a very dapper side parting. âYou should wear a suit more often. Especially one with so many sparkles.â
âLove the sparkles, hate the suit,â he confided, tugging at his stiff collar. âI still think this whole thing would have been much easier if weâd gone with my suggestion of a beach wedding.â
âWell, bear with me.â I held a finger up in front of my false eyelashes. âWe could ditch these outfits, jump out the bathroom window and run away to Hawaii together?â
âTempting,â Kekipi replied. âVery tempting.â
âNo one is running away anywhere without me,â a sharp voice called out from behind the toilet door. âDo you know how long it took me to get her in that dress?â