Can I Let You Go?: Part 2 of 3: A heartbreaking true story of love, loss and moving on
Can I Let You Go? is the true story of Faye, a wonderful young woman who may never be able to parent her unborn child.Faye is 24, pregnant, and has learning difficulties as a result of her mother’s alcoholism. Faye is gentle, childlike and vulnerable, and normally lives with her grandparents, both of whom have mobility problems. Cathy and her children welcome Faye into their home and hearts. The care plan is for Faye to stay with Cathy until after the birth when she will return home and the baby will go for adoption. Given that Faye never goes out alone it is something of a mystery how she ever became pregnant and Faye says it’s a secret.To begin with Faye won’t acknowledge she is pregnant or talk about the changes in her body as she worries it will upset her grandparents, but after her social worker assures her she can talk to Cathy she opens up. However, this leads to Faye realizing just how much she will lose and she changes her mind and says she wants to keep her baby.Is it possible Faye could learn enough to parent her child? Cathy believes it is, and Faye’s social worker is obliged to give Faye the chance.
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Certain details in this story, including names, places and dates, have been changed to protect the children.
HarperElement
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First published by HarperElement 2016
FIRST EDITION
© Cathy Glass 2016
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Source ISBN: 9780008153748
Ebook Edition © September 2016 ISBN: 9780008156633
Version: 2016-07-25
Contents
Chapter Nine: Innocent Remarks
Chapter Twelve: ‘Good Enough’ Parenting
Chapter Nine
One of the issues a parent or carer may encounter when looking after a child or adult with a learning disability is with communication and language difficulties: understanding their wishes and needs. Faye had adequate language skills to see her through everyday situations, but she wouldn’t necessarily be able to define, identify or verbalize complex emotions, as the average adult would. In children I’d seen this come out in angry, frustrated outbursts, but in Faye’s case it appeared she’d been internalizing her feelings to protect her grandparents. Although Becky hadn’t said an awful lot, it was enough to persuade Faye that it was all right for her to start talking to me about being pregnant and the baby. After Becky left, Faye continued doing the jigsaw puzzle and then asked if she could help me cook dinner tonight. I said of course she could and that I was planning on making a casserole, which I needed to prepare now, as it required a long, slow cook.
In the kitchen Faye helped me to collect together the ingredients we needed from the fridge and cupboards, and to wash them. I then gave her a knife and, following my example, she stood beside me at the worktop, peeling, chopping and slicing the ingredients and placing them into the casserole dish. Snuggles sat propped up at the end of the counter, watching us.
‘Have you ever had a baby in your tummy?’ Faye suddenly asked as we worked, which took me by surprise.
‘Yes. Twice. First with Adrian and then Paula. It seems incredible now that they were that small once,’ I added reflectively.
‘What about Lucy?’ Faye asked.
‘She wasn’t in my tummy. She was in another woman’s tummy, her birth mother’s. She is my adopted daughter.’ I glanced at Faye. ‘Like your baby is going to be adopted, but you will always be her birth mother.’
‘Becky said she is going to find a really nice mummy and daddy for my baby,’ Faye said.
‘Yes, I’m sure she will.’ I didn’t know what stage the process of identifying adoptive parents for Faye’s baby had reached, but I guessed the search for a suitable match had already begun, and it wouldn’t take long. There are thousands of childless couples wanting to adopt a baby, although the baby would be placed with a foster carer to begin with until the legal process was complete. It hadn’t really been appropriate to ask Becky how soon after the birth the baby would be taken from Faye as I’d intended to, but Faye now said, ‘Becky told me I could have a photograph of me holding my baby, if I wanted to. I’ve told her no. Gran and Grandpa said it would be too upsetting.’
‘I can understand that,’ I said. ‘Some find it helpful.’
‘Gran says that once I’ve had the baby and go home we need to try to forget it, and carry on with our lives.’
I nodded noncommittally but thought that might be easier said than done.
‘Does Lucy’s birth mother have a photograph of her?’ Faye asked, placing another slice of carrot into the casserole dish.
‘Yes. She still sees her sometimes.’ I stopped, wondering if this was the wisest conversation to be having and if it might confuse Faye. ‘It was different with Lucy,’ I said. ‘She was much older when she came to me – eleven, not a baby.’
‘Why?’ Faye asked.
‘Lucy had a very unsettled and unhappy childhood. She had to live in a number of different homes before she came to me. That won’t happen to your baby. It will have a lovely mummy and daddy right from being a baby, which will be much better.’
