Confessions of a Ghostwriter
HE’S WRITTEN MORE THAN 80 BOOKS. HE’S SOLD MILLIONS OF COPIES ACROSS THE WORLD. HE IS THE MAN BEHIND A DOZEN SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 HITS, SPENDING OVER 120 WEEKS IN THE BESTSELLER CHARTS.BUT YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T HEARD OF HIM.Andrew Crofts is a ghostwriter, an author for hire, employed to write other people’s stories – everyone from film stars to footballers, hitmen to hookers, world leaders to abused children. Ghostwriters are confidantes to the most famous people on earth, and they help give a voice to some of the most vulnerable and inspiring. They dip their toes into every corner of life, and inhabit worlds that are both shadowy and glamorous. They are the ones who write the books that top the bestseller charts.Andrew is one of the world’s most sought-after ghosts. In this book he confesses the truth about ghosting; how it feels to be an invisible author, to be given first class tickets to travel anywhere and permission to ask whatever questions you like. Confessions of a Ghostwriter gives an unrivalled peek into private worlds that few others gain admission to.
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Confessions of a Ghostwriter
BY ANDREW CROFTS
The Friday Project
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
77â85 Fulham Palace Road
Hammersmith, London W6 8JB
This ebook first published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2014
Copyright © Andrew Crofts 2014
Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2014
Andrew Crofts asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
FIRST EDITION
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780007575404
Ebook Edition © SEP 2014 ISBN: 9780007575411
Version: 2014-07-23
To my wife, Susan, who I love with all my heart.
Contents
Introduction
An eight-foot transsexual hooker in the living room
A million books in an African warehouse
Discovering ghostwriting
The story of Stumpy
The glamour model versus the âarbiters of tasteâ
Secrets and confidentiality agreements
Glimpses of hell
That splinter of ice
Suddenly youâre history
Abused children find a voice
Sacked by a glove puppet
A debt to Dale Carnegie
The first questions a ghostwriter should ask
âYou need to come to Haiti â¦â
Tyrants and other interesting monsters
Lunching with Imelda Marcos
Afternoon tea with Mrs Mubarak
Filthy lucre
Big Brother is watching and listening
A real-life Shades of Grey
A gift for a billionaire
Rich menâs toys
The soporific brothel
An opportunist hack
A book goes global
Revenge can be bitter
The Princess speaks
Confessions of my infidelity
How can anyone write four books a year?
Waking up in the orphanage
Under armed guard in Lahore
The tentative handling of firearms
The faulty memories of rock gods
Soldiersâ tales
Win a ghost of your own
Selling your story to a magazine
Calls from out of the blue
I am an addict
Evangelists of technology
âMr Harris would like to quote you â¦â
A confession of conceit
Guilt and self-doubt
The awesome power of a tear on daytime television
Christina Foyle, queen of all she surveyed
A new breed of stars
The reality of reality television stars
A genuine talent
A real media circus
Culture clashes and other bad marriages
Clubs for gentlemen and players
A Year in Provence unleashes an avalanche
Jim Martinâs island
A Russian in hiding
Education at Madame Jojoâs
From the lips of an Iraqi child
I love supermarket bookshelves
Confessions from the British Library
âYou may just have to get a job â¦â
The forgotten rules of grammar
A forgotten weekend in academia
A little lone wolf
The greatest living playwright
The selling power of celebrities
The soap star who came to stay
Not everyone can be Hamlet
Discovering Jay Gatsby
âThe Principessa is throwing a party â¦â
A black BMW behind Kingâs Cross
Tales of courtesans and mistresses
Deathbed delivery
The mid-book blues
Addiction to charts
Tales from below stairs
A confession of cowardice
Writing in two voices at once
Just a single copy
Family secrets
One for the bank vaults
On behalf of my client
A movie star and her entourage
A hit-man comes to lunch
Writers as parasites
Ordinary people who do extraordinary things
Leaving London
Soft times
A pain in Baguio
Whoring myself again
The suppression of the ego
The Popeâs secret mistress
A writerâs pit
Who moved my nuts?
âEveryone says it would make a great movieâ
The strange delusions of world leaders
Authors regain a little self-control
Standing on the past
The creation of Steffi McBride
