Cry Silent Tears: The heartbreaking survival story of a small mute boy who overcame unbearable suffering and found his voice again
Joe knew his mother was cruel and violent, but he trusted his beloved father to protect him from her. When a freak accident saw his father burn to death in front of him, Joe was left at the mercy of his mother. Without the love of his friend and brother, he wouldn't have survived. With them, he went on to spend his life fighting child abuse.Joe was just five years old and the horrific scene literally struck him dumb. He didn't speak for four and a half years, which meant he was unable to ask anyone for help as his life turned into a living hell.His schizophrenic mother and two of his older brothers spent the following years beating him, raping him and locking him in the cellar at the family home. Fed on scraps that he was forced to lick from the floor, he was sometimes left naked in the dark for three days without human contact.Unable to read or write, all Joe could do to communicate his suffering was draw pictures.The violence and sexual abuse grew in severity as more people, including his stepfather, were invited to use him in any way they chose.The only thing that saved Joe was the kindness of his elder brother and his only school friend, both of whom showed him that love was possible even in the darkest of situations.At fourteen he finally found the courage to run away, hiding in a hut by a railway line, fed on scraps by some local children who found him.Joe's is the ultimate insider's story, casting light into the darkest of hidden worlds, and a truly inspirational account of how one small boy found the strength to overcome almost impossible odds and become a remarkable man. Now that he has found his voice again, Joe speaks out against child abuse and helps support and protect other children whose lives have been blighted by it.
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Cry Silent Tears
The heartbreaking survival story
of a small mute boy who overcame unbearable suffering and found his voice again
JOE PETERS
with Andrew Crofts
This book is based on the author’s experiences. In order to protect privacy, some names, identifying characteristics, dialogue and details have been changed or reconstructed.
HarperElement
An Imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF
HarperElement is a trademark of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
First published by HarperElement 2008
© Joe Peters 2008
Joe Peters asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library
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HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication
Source ISBN: 9780007274048
Ebook Edition © JANUARY 2009 ISBN: 9780007283828 Version: 2018-08-14
Contents
Chapter Two: A Bitter Battleground
Chapter Seven: Mum’s New Boyfriend
Chapter Eight: Rescued From The Cellar
Chapter Eleven: The Movie Business
Chapter Twelve: Learning To Speak Again
Chapter Thirteen: A Bid For Freedom
Chapter Fourteen: Betrayal And Capture
Chapter Fifteen: In And Out Of Care
To Michelle, my soulmate, and my five beautiful and special children, Darren, Liam, Kirsty-Lea, Shannon and Paige.
Thanks guys, for all your love and support. Love Dad.
I never doubted for a moment that my dad loved me more than anything or anyone else in the world, and I returned that adoration wholeheartedly from the first moment that I was able to. He was a tall, handsome man with sparkly eyes, who was popular wherever he went, and he made me feel like king of the world every second we were together. I was his first child, his pride and joy, and he put me on as high a pedestal as I put him. ‘My little Joe,’ he’d say fondly, sitting me on his knee and ruffling my curly brown hair.
In almost all of my early memories, I am clinging to his big long legs, viewing the world from between them, or sitting in his car or on a grass verge nearby watching him while he worked. He was employed as a mechanic for an Irish guy called Graeme who owned a garage in Norwich, and had been with him since he was an apprentice, straight out of school. Graeme’s whole family had taken to him as though he was one of their own children and he had repaid their faith in him a hundredfold. He had gradually been given more and more responsibility and trust until he was virtually running the place if Graeme wasn’t there and they all thought the world of him. Dad seemed to have that effect on everyone, and I was able to bask in his reflected glory whenever I was with him. I felt safe and happy when he was around.
My mum, on the other hand, was a terrifying woman. She was almost as tall as Dad, with jet-black hair and a scowling face. It seemed to me she was always angry and, in particular, she seemed to be constantly furious with Dad and me. My three older brothers (from her first marriage) got off lightly, but whenever I was near she would lash out, hitting me round the head, kicking me or pushing me over. She called me all kinds of names I didn’t understand and screamed at me till I cowered, petrified, in a corner.
Well aware of her violent nature and her hatred for me, Dad kept a watchful eye on me from dawn till dusk. Everywhere he went, I went. As a toddler, I was hardly ever allowed out of his sight. Not only did he take me to work, but he even took me to the toilet with him. Not that I needed much encouragement; I wanted to be as close to him as possible. We were mutually bonded and he took pleasure in indulging my every whim. If I wanted Sugar Puffs he would buy me a box a day and let me eat my way through them. Mum would freak out when she found out.
‘You’re spoiling him,’ she would scream. ‘And you’re undermining me when I tell him he can’t have things.’
‘He can have whatever he wants,’ Dad would tell her, in a tone that implied that was the end of the discussion.
