«Serena?» Wolfin’s voice sounded from her earpiece. «We need to talk to you.»
Serena felt her eyes filling with tears once again. She switched off the communication device and turned to her other side, feeling the faint scent of Hunter’s skin still embedded in the sheets where he used to lay.
She cursed herself for not being able to push him aside. It was supposed to be her, not him being torn apart. She, at least, could have grown back the lost limbs. Hunter, even if the chimera would have left his body, would not be able to survive. Not after the massive blood loss he suffered after losing his leg and arm in such a brutal way.
And facing Wolfin and Lindon every day after all that was making everything worse. Especially after she fell prey to the maddening rage that took over, forcing her to destroy a whole planet, which used to be Falana’s refuge.
Two Veluthian men weren’t supposed to see her so broken – they’ve already seen her broken enough. Others too – Laneth and Kayla, Cipher and Pher – all of them had her snapping back at them during the first few days. This wasn’t how a Captain should be acting – and Serena knew that.
So every time she walked out of her quarters she always had a couple of shots of the strongest sedative she ever made – the same one she used when they dined at the Palace with Empress Alathea after Serena was released from prison.
Having the sedative helped her to remain cold and distant and not lash out at the attempts the crew made towards her to comfort and console her. Most of the time she didn’t even talk to them or even look at them, and she knew that it made them feel helpless.
But some days it was harder for her to get out of bed at all – just like this one. At times like these usually either Wolfin or Lindon – or both – would come to plead her to go out at all.
And she wasn’t even feeling strong enough to get up.
All she needed was some time to grieve and some peace and quiet.
Lyssa kept sending her updates on the investigation and what Lindon was doing as active in command, but Serena almost never checked those logs, wishing to be just left alone.
«Serena, please…» Lindon forced the AI to pass his message through the doors communication system. «We need to talk…»
The woman forced herself up and out of bed, stumbling into the bathroom. Before washing her face she gave herself a shot of sedative.
It took her a few very long minutes to give her pale face some semblance of being fine. Pulling up her trousers, she almost forgot about boots. After getting dressed, she clasped her belt on – littered with ready to use syringes of sedative and gave herself another shot before unwillingly walking out.
Though she wasn’t looking up, she knew – Wolfin and Lindon didn’t go far and waited her to walk up.
«Serena…» Lindon reached out to her, but the woman silently walked past, indifferent to everything that surrounded her.
She knew very well that if she were to stop eating or even getting out of her quarters, these two could actually force Lyssa to open the door and would easily drag her out of bed. Both Wolfin and Lindon cared for her too much to allow her to stay all alone.
Serena felt someone stopping her with an embrace, and froze, allowing the man to hold her tightly. She was grateful that the double dose of the sedative was strong enough not to let her eyes fill with tears again.
«We’re here for you.» Wolfin’s voice sounded by her side, quiet and worried.
«I know.» Serena pushed an answer out of herself for the first time in all these days.
She hated the sound of her voice – low and raspy – but knew that it was a result of her crying for so long every day. That was one of the reasons she didn’t want to speak to anyone at all.
Lindon slowly freed her from his arms and stepped back, trying to catch her gaze, but failed, as she was looking at the floor. The woman felt his warm palm on her cheek, but couldn’t force herself to raise her eyes.
With a faint sigh, Lindon stepped aside and Serena continued her way towards the dining area, even though she felt no hunger at all. Over the days that passed all she could make herself eat would be enough to feed a puppy, not a full-grown woman, so it wasn’t surprising how worried Wolfin and Lindon were, watching her peck at the tiny portions and water them down with a glass of alcohol each time.
«We have updates on Falana.» Wolfin said when they all sat down behind the table.
Serena kept silent, looking at her plate and seemingly indifferent to everything they had to say.
«She was seen on one of the trading stations in Sector 459-B.» Lindon glanced at the woman in an attempt to see any sort of reaction.
Though she heard the name of the woman who was the reason for Hunters demise, Serena didn’t feel anything inside. She wasn’t sure if it was the result of her sedative shots or the absolute burnt out soul after losing her beloved, but for some reason she really had nothing to say to the news.
