How to Win at Feminism: The Definitive Guide to Having It All... And Then Some!
’People say women can't be funny. WRONG… I love Reductress.’-Sam Bain, co-creator of Peep ShowThe definitive manual on how to be the best feminist you can be—as told by a hilariously misguided yet well-meaning women’s magazine. From the creators of the wildly popular satirical website, Reductress.From hot feminist sex to a trendy feminist up-do, the bold and brilliant minds behind Reductress reveal the secrets to being super progressive—and cool, hip, and pretty. Feminism today means demanding gender equality—and a fabulous manicure. After all, we’re not wearing girdles and cleaning the house anymore. We’re wearing Spanx and hiring a cleaning lady. That’s feminism!How to Win at Feminism defines what’s feminist and what isn’t, shows you how to take up space (but not too much space), identifies which clothes and products to be offended by, and offers funny insight, knowledge, tips, and advice every fourth-wave feminist needs, including:• How to Love Your Body Even Though Hers is Better• The 9 Circles of Hell for Women Who Don’t Help Other Women• Designer Handbags to Hold All Your Feminism• How to Apologize for Having it All• Finding Your Spirit Feminist• Rebranding Your Relationship Issues as Feminist IssuesWith this ultimate guide—complete with four-color illustrations—you can femsplain feminism to basic friends, and learn how to battle the patriarchy while maintaining a dependable moisturizing routine. We may have come a long way, baby, but we have a long way to go. How to Win at Feminism is the road map to get there!’Reductress has discovered a rich, deep seam of comedy.’-Graham Linehan, creator of Father Ted, Black Books and The IT Crowd
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CONTENTS
1 CONTENTS
2 WHAT IS FEMINISM AND WHY AM I THAT NOW?
3 HOW TO FEMINISTA Feminist Invocation of BeyoncéHow to Femsplain Feminism to Your FriendsIS IT FEMINIST? (A CHART)The Many Waves of FeminismCelebs on Being FeministBOO! THE PATRIARCHY IS A SPOOKY GHOSTHazard: The Patriarch-DHow to Be Feminist Without Being Too “Opiniony”BAD FEMINISTS (A LIST)Intersectionality in Feminism: For White Women!The Nine Circles of Hell for Women Who Don’t Help Other WomenWARNING: CURVES AHEAD
4 FEMINISM: GET THE LOOK!A Feminist Invocation of “Real” WomenThe Look of a Feminist Is Feeling Beautiful from WithinFEMINIST SKIN CAREFeeling Beautiful Is the New Looking BeautifulFeminist Cosmetic ToolsHOW TO LOVE YOUR BODY EVEN THOUGH HERS IS BETTERJust the Right Amount of Sexiness!Which Nonfeminist Clothes Are in Your Closet Right Now?MENSES: THE ORIGINAL FEMINIST ACCESSORYDesigner Handbags to Hold All Your FeminismPerfecting the No-Self SelfieEMBRACING DIFFERENCES: TEACHING MODELS WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE FATOur Inspiration: Diverse Women in MediaDIY: Aging!HOW TO TAKE UP MORE SPACE, BUT NOT TOO MUCH SPACE
5 WOMEN AT WORK!A Feminist Invocation of Leaning InWork It!PROTECTING YOUR BODY OF WORKSupporting Other Working WomenThe Consequences of Not Having It AllHOW TO APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING IT ALLFeature: Linda Marie Maarter, the Woman Who Literally Has It AllWork–Life Balance vs. Life–Work Balance: Which Is Right for You?REPRODUCING AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIMEHer-ssentials for a Home OfficeFeature: Megyn Kelly: Republicans Can Reclaim Feminism Too!SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSWOMEN: OUR ROLE MODELSFeature: Janet Hughes, the Woman Who Doesn’t Aspire So That Others Can!Foot Stomps and Other Percussive Methods That Let ’Em Know Who’s BossEMPOWERMENT EXERCISE: EMBODY A MANCombating Workplace Misogyny with Body CamsHow to Do More with 23 Cents LessFEATURE: A NOTE FROM RUTH BADER GINSBURG AFTER SHE’S HAD HER WINE
6 HOW TO LOVE AND SEXA Feminist Invocation of Lena DunhamIs Dating a Man Feminist?HOW TO PUT DOWN THAT PICKUP ARTIST: MEET MISS NO, THE PROFESSIONAL PUT-DOWN ARTISTFeminist First DatesHow to Stick with the Dating Apps You HateHOW TO GET CATCALLED FOR YOUR PERSONALITYIs Your Guy Feminist?Rebranding Your Relationship Issues as Feminist IssuesFEMINIST THINGS THAT WILL GET HIM OFFHow to Be Sex Positive Even When You’re BloatedMeet Roy, the Hunky Male FeministNOW, ABOUT YOUR LESBIAN PHASE . . .Planning a Feminist Wedding
7 HOW TO SAVOR BEING A SAVIORA Feminist Invocation of OprahSaving the World, Saving OurselvesPROBLEMATIC PRODUCTSTrading in Original Sin for Karma!Charity Mad LibsINSPIRING MEMES TO SHARE WITH YOUR FRIENDS!Essential Oil Blends to Bring Out Your Feminist EssenceThings You Can Protest by Taking Your Top OffPRACTICING SELF-LOVE ON OTHER PEOPLEThe Top Ten Ways to Know If You Really Love YourselfOvercome Your Wominsecurities with Crystals!FEATURE: LYLA STEINGARD-HOPE ON HER SERIES OF AHA! MOMENTSLife-Changing Books That Will Change Your LifeWere You Feminist in a Past Life?FIND YOUR SPIRIT FEMINIST!A Note on Women’s Intuition
8 EPILOGUEHere’s What You’ve LearnedSign the ContractBLOOPER REEL!
10 INDEX
11 CREDITS
12 COPYRIGHT
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WHAT IS FEMINISM AND WHY AM I THAT NOW?
A lot of people think that feminism just appeared out of nowhere, but it actually took a lot of strong women (and men!)>* to get us to the point of complete and total gender equality. But this year, we finally did it! We won feminism. And although we have to thank the brave souls who paved the way for us, we mostly want to thank ourselves—Reductress, your favorite women’s magazine—for doing it better than everybody else. Now that we, the media, have broken down barriers and made feminism safe for the masses, it’s time for you to get on board, girl!
So how did we win feminism? By championing the greatest feminist works of our generation—empowering pop songs, feminist music videos, inspiring advertising, and shows with the word “girls” in the title. Every move we’ve made—every tearful show recap, every tearful concert viewing, every tearful Instagram scroll—has been decidedly pro-women!
Don’t believe that we won? The evidence is clear. You can see it in every living, breathing woman around you. You can see it in her shining hair, her flawless skin, and her belief in herself and her appearance. She knows that the female body is not something to be ashamed of; it’s something to be fiercely honored—and moisturized daily.
