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First published as an ebook by HarperCollins Childrenâs Books 2015
Text © Alice Oseman
Cover design © HarperCollins Publishers
Alice Oseman asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
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Ebook Edition © 2015 ISBN: 9780008147877
Version: 2015-07-09
âYes, very indifferent indeed,â said Elizabeth, laughingly. âOh, Jane, take care.â
âMy dear Lizzy, you cannot think me so weak, as to be in danger now?â
âI think you are in very great danger of making him as much in love with you as ever.â
- Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
CHARLIE
As Head Boy of Truham Grammar School, Iâve done many things. I got drunk on the parentsâ wine at parentsâ evening. Iâve been photographed with the mayor three times. I once accidentally made a Year 7 cry.
But none of that was quite as bad as having to stop everyone in Year 13 from enjoying their final day of school, which is what our head teacher, Mr Shannon, is trying to make me do right now.
Itâs probably worth mentioning that my boyfriend of two years, Nick Nelson, is one of those Year 13s.
âYou donât mind, do you?â Mr Shannon leans on the common room table where Iâm supposed to be revising for my AS Levels but am actually watching Mac DeMarco concerts on my phone. âItâs all got a bit out of hand and I think theyâd be more likely to listen to you than me, if you see what I mean.â
âErmâ¦â I shoot at look at my friend Tao Xu whoâs sitting next to me eating a packet of Galaxy Minstrels. He raises his eyebrows at me as if to say, âSucks to be youâ.
I donât really want to say yes.
This year, the Year 13âs final day of school is High School Musical themed. They hung a giant âEast High Schoolâ sign over the Truham sign at the school gate. Theyâve been playing the soundtrack on classroom computers, so wherever you are in the school you can hear a High School Musical song playing from somewhere, but youâre never quite sure where. They participated in a âWhat Time Is Itâ flash mob on the football field at breaktime. And they have all turned up to school either in red basketball outfits or cheerleader outfits. Disappointingly, Nick went for basketballer.
To top it all off, on a non-HSM-related note, theyâve built a fort out of cardboard boxes on the tennis courts and are having a barbeque inside it.
âI just want them to put the barbeque out,â says Shannon, obviously detecting how reluctant I am to walk into a box fort of one hundred and fifty people older than me and tell them to stop having fun. âYou know. Health and safety stuff. If someone gets burnt, Iâll be the one dealing with angry parents.â
He chuckles. Mr Shannon has come to trust me completely over the several months I have been Head Boy. This is hilarious because I rarely do anything he tells me to do.
Keep the teachers on your side and the students on your side. Donât make enemies or too many friends. Thatâs my advice for getting through school.
âYeah, sure, no problem,â I say.
âYouâre an absolute life saver.â He points a finger at me as he walks away. âDonât revise too hard!â
Tao looks at me, still shoving chocolate into his mouth. âYouâre not actually gonna go confront the Year 13s, are you?â
I laugh. âNah. Iâll just go see what theyâre up to and tell them to watch out for Shannon.â
My other friend, Aled Last, looks up at me from the opposite side of the table. Heâs been colour coding his maths revision notes for the past hour. âCan you please get a photo of Harry Greene in a skirt? Itâs urgent.â
I stand up from my chair and put my blazer on. âI think we all need to see that, to be honest.â
The Year 12s have already left for study leave and the only reason Iâm here is because I revise better at school than at home. Tao and Aled thought the same. None of us really want to be here though. Itâs the hottest day weâve had this year and I just sort of want to lie down somewhere with an ice pack on my head.
Nick and I have plans for this weekend. Heâs finally free from school, Iâm taking a weekend off revision. Itâs Thursday today; Iâm staying over his tonight. Tomorrow night weâre going to Harryâs party for everyone in sixth form. Saturday weâre going to the beach. Sunday weâre going to London.