HarperImpulse
an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
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First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2019
Copyright © Carrie Stone 2019
Cover illustrations © Shutterstock.com
Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2019
Carrie Stone asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9780008123109
Ebook Edition © March 2019 ISBN: 9780008123086
Version: 2018-12-14
‘I don’t usually date women over the age of thirty. But I’m making an exception for you. You don’t look your age – so it’s OK. You can easily pass for twenty-eight.’ He grins at me with the confidence of someone who thinks they have paid an exceptionally gracious compliment and I can’t help but feel strangely flattered and irritated all at the same time. If it wasn’t for his overly white veneers keeping me fixated on his mouth and the golden nuggets of wisdom that might come out of it next, I’d have long ago made an exit. As it is, we’ve only just finished the starter course.
‘Are you always so flattering?’ There’s a heavy hint of sarcasm to my tone but he doesn’t appear to notice. He’s too busy swirling the wine in his glass and continuing with his running commentary on why younger women are more appealing. Ironic really, given that he’s thirty-eight years young himself, which, thanks to his hair implants and copious fillers, I’m not supposed to notice.
He’d seemed so normal in our email exchange, at least in the sense that he didn’t appear to have an overly inflated sense of self. Yet in person he insists on dropping his achievements into every other sentence. I briefly wonder if it’s a cultural thing – he’s German – but quickly dismiss that thought as he tells me, with a very straight face, that he would like to write his life story because men ‘world over’ would benefit from his knowledge of how to seduce and attract any woman they desire. Perhaps I’d be able to take that idea more seriously if he was doing a better job at winning me over. As it is, I see straight through him. He’s lonely, he’s hung up on his ex and he’s tired of his sales director role at a mid- range hotel group. Let’s face it, he’s hardly setting the world alight. But then, neither am I for that matter.
I never dreamed I’d find myself in this situation at thirty-three years of age. I used to joke about the cliché cat woman and now I’m beginning to feel like one – without the cat. I don’t love being single and carefree no matter how much I try to convince others, and myself, that I do. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t ‘need’ a man to feel complete – my life is busy enough. But being in a partnership is a bit like wearing a favourite bra; it’s uplifting, comfortable, it makes you feel secure and you’re somehow less vulnerable to life’s challenges when there’s that extra support.
I blame Jay. He’s gotten a lot of the blame these past three years, but it is his fault. We had it all, the great relationship, the holidays, the house. The ring on my finger that I thought would be there forever…
If it wasn’t for his ‘I need to focus on my career not tie myself down’ crisis, I wouldn’t be alone, perpetually broke and clinging to a job that doesn’t hold the glossy glow that it once did.
I’d always just assumed that by my early thirties we’d be happily settled, perhaps with a couple of children, and at least have ticked living abroad off my bucket list. Hell, I even thought I’d own a 4x4 by now.
But no, instead I wake up every day hoping for a miracle – some kind of catalyst or key to kick-start a much-needed domino effect. I refuse to believe that this is the life destiny has in mind for me. Not my one-bedroom flat that’s barely big enough to swing a hamster, nor the disastrous stream of unsuitable men I keep getting set up with and don’t even get me started on the grey roots, frown lines and thick, wiry hairs in inappropriate places that have decided to suddenly take residence on my being. Where did I go? Everly Carter with the crazy brunette curls and full lips.