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First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins 2018
Copyright © Faith Bleasdale 2018
Cover design © Diane Meacham 2018
Cover image © Shutterstock
Faith Bleasdale asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the authorâs imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Ebook Edition © August 2018 ISBN: 9780008306953
Version: 2018-07-24
Gemma Matthews rang the buzzer, rubbing her gloved hands together and stomping her feet to try to ward off the cold. She had taken the bus, but still had a twenty-minute walk to get to the residential home. Despite the fact that she did the journey frequently, it was still a difficult one, in more ways than one.
The door was opened by Sarah, one of the carers at the home.
âGemma, come in, come in,â she said, kindly, grimacing as a blast of cold air shot through the door. âBlimey, itâs freezing.â
âHi,â Gemma said, still able to see her own breath. âHow is she today?â Gemmaâs voice wobbled, as it always did when she asked after her nan.
âNot too bad, love,â Sarah replied.
Gemma nodded and made her way in.
The warmth of the nursing home hit her as soon as she closed the door behind her. She wrinkled her nose at the familiar smell; the aroma she now associated with old age. Kenworth House was a residential home specialising in taking care of dementia sufferers. Unfortunately Gemmaâs nan was one of them, and sheâd been here almost a year, ever since Gemma became unable to care for her at home. She signed in at the big marble reception desk, her signature like a spidery mess across the page. If it wasnât for the smell, Gemma would think she had walked into a five-star hotel â the home was grand and expensive, which was reflected in its interior. Although Gemma knew they were struggling to afford to keep her nan here, she was determined. She had never been so determined about anything in her life, and now it seemed that determination had paid off.
She took the stairs up to her nanâs room on the first floor. Out of habit, she knocked on the door before opening it straight away. She took a breath; every time she walked through this door, she had no idea what would greet her. Would her nan recognise her? Would she welcome her even? One thing she had learnt about dementia was that it was riddled with inconsistency.
âHi, Nan,â she said as breezily as she could, going straight over to where her nan was sitting. She bent down to kiss her cheek, breathing in the familiar lavender scent that characterised Gemmaâs childhood, her family.
Her nan was staring out of the window, something Gemma often found her doing. She had a lovely view over the grounds of the home, which were vast with beautifully kept sweeping lawns, and flower beds ready to spring into colour. Her nan had always loved gardens, and Gemma was glad that she had this view.
âGemma?â her nan asked uncertainly as she turned to her. Relief flooded through Gemma; it was a good day.
âYes, Nan, and Iâve brought you some flowers.â
She took a bunch of wild flowers out of her bag, and put them under her nanâs nose. Her nan smiled as she smelt them. One of her passions in life was gardening â her nanâs not Gemmaâs. Gemma remembered how weekends would be spent with her nan digging, planting or weeding while Gemma would read a book outside if the weather was good, watching her, being close to her.
âAnd of course your favourite wine gums.â
She handed them to her. Gemma liked bringing wine gums; when she was a kid, her nan would bring home packets from the post office on a Friday, and it would be a treat that Gemma looked forward to. After a fish and chip supper, they would share the wine gums. It was nostalgic but the only way Gemma felt she could cling to her past.