First published in the USA by HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. in 2016.
First published in Great Britain in paperback in 2016 by HarperCollins Children’s Books, a division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd,
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Copyright © Alloy Entertainment and Vivi Greene 2016
Jacket art © 2016 by Natalie C. Sousa ; Jacket Design by Elaine Damasco; Cover design © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2016
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9780008173920
Ebook Edition © 2016 ISBN: 9780008173937
Version: 2016-04-14
THE NIGHT I get my heart broken for the last time, it’s over a bowl of soup.
The restaurant, some hip Nolita spot Jed has chosen—I would’ve been happy with takeout—is packed and the waitress tucks us into a cozy corner beneath a giant poster of Audrey Hepburn on the back of a scooter whizzing past the Colosseum. Jed is uncharacteristically quiet, but he’s leaving in the morning for three weeks of sold-out shows, so I chalk it up to stress.
Until he orders the soup.
Not soup as a starter, not soup-and-something-else, not a hearty soup, even, like bouillabaisse or bisque. Just a mug-size bowl of minestrone that, when it arrives, turns out to be tomato juice garnished with a few confused carrots.
Thisis Jed Monroe we’re talking about. The same Jed Monroe who eats an entire stack of pancakes when I make them for breakfast every time he’s in town. The same Jed Monroe who has “two dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts (or similar)” on his tour rider and who polishes off an entire bag of mint Milano cookies in one sitting. The first time we were photographed together, the caption read something like “Beauty and the BFG.” Everything about Jed is oversize, most of all his appetite, so the soup is definitely alarming. Which is why I spend the rest of the meal trying to decide if he isn’t eating because he’s anxious, or because he wants to fast-forward his way through dinner.
When we leave, I can feel the strained, nervous energy in his grip as he grabs for my hand, gamely smiling for fans between iPhone flashes outside the restaurant, and for the duration of the relentlessly quiet car ride home.
“I think we should talk,” Jed says as we ease into a spot across the street from my building. As if on cue, the privacy window slides slowly up. The driver’s blue eyes look disappointed in the rearview mirror before vanishing behind the clouded glass.
“Talk?” I try to keep the hurt out of my voice. I want to remind him that I’ve been talking all night. He was the one sulking into his soup. But I don’t. I take a breath, and I smile. “Sure,” I say. “Let’s talk.”
Jed stares at his reflection in the window, his perfectly pouty lips twisting to one side. I remember the night we met a year ago, at a party at my manager’s Brooklyn loft. Terry swore he wasn’t trying to set us up, but to this day I have no idea why Jed was there.