Squeezing the Orange
The quintessentially English cricket commentator, writer, oenophile, bon viveur, collector and national treasure, fondly known as “Blowers”, tells his riveting life story.Born in Norfolk and educated at Eton and Cambridge, Henry Calthorpe Blofeld OBE, nicknamed “Blowers” by the late Brian Johnston, is best known as a cricket commentator for Test Match Special on BBC Radio 4 and BBC Radio 5 Live Sports Extra. His distinctively rich, cut glass voice and his vividly eccentric observations of life on and off the pitch, have made him a household name, not only in Britain but around the world, wherever cricket is played. Blowers has been close the the heart of the game for over fifty years and his career has taken him to the far corners of the earth. This autobiography, stuffed to the gunwhales with delicious anecdotes, brings his astonishingly colourful story bang up to date.
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Nicknamed “Blowers” by the late Brian Johnston, Henry Calthorpe Blofeld is one of the best known and best loved sports’ journalists of all time. With his trademark bow-tie, his unmistakeably fruity tones and his delightfully idiosyncratic observations, both on and off the cricket field, Blowers has become a national institution.
He joined the legendary Test Match Special team in 1972. During his career as a journalist and a commentator, he has travelled extensively to the many parts of the world where cricket is played.
Although beset by illness (including major heart surgery in 1999), Henry Blofeld’s philosophy on life is a simple one: live every day as though it were your last and squeeze every last drop out of every waking moment. Even now, at the age of seventy-four, he continues to play by his own rules.
In Squeezing the Orange Blowers looks back affectionately on his childhood and his colourful career with all the wit and good humour which is the hallmark of this remarkable and quintessential Englishman.
A consummate showman, raconteur, collector, gourmet and connoisseur of fine wines, Henry Blofeld was born in Norfolk and educated at Eton and Cambridge. He is the author of several books including The Packer Affair, My Dear Old Thing: Talking Cricket and A Thirst for Life. For the past few years he has been touring all over the UK with his one-man show, An Evening with Blowers, as well as many other public speaking engagements. He was awarded an OBE in 2003.
HENRY BLOFELD
Squeezing the Orange
Harper
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
First published in Great Britain by Blue Door 2013
Copyright © Henry Blofeld 2013
Cover photograph © Colin Thomas 2013
Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2013
Henry Blofeld asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9780007506392
Ebook Edition © September 2013 ISBN: 9780007506415
Version: 2015-12-17
For Valeria, whose love, interest, humour and enthusiasm has made all the difference.
CONTENTS
3. The French Women’s Institute
4. Queen Charlotte and a Milk Train
7. A Lie at the Blue Mountain End
9. A Modest Dinner at Alresford
10. The Traffic Cop in Faisalabad
12. The Man in the Stocking Mask
13. Norfolk at the Albert Hall
14. Middle-Aged Junkies in Kandahar
15. White Vans and Chewing Gum
I find the older I get the more time I spend thinking back to my early life which I suppose turned me into the person I have become. I have found also that by looking back on this period at the age of seventy-three, I am able to look at it from a much more relaxed perspective than when I last wrote about it fifteen years ago.
The nasty bits don’t hurt or matter as much as they did and the best bits seem to have become even more fun. There is no point in trying to blame anyone but yourself. It is much better to throw your head back and have a thoroughly good laugh. As a result, maybe, I find my first thirty-odd years much more interesting than the rest of it, when effectively the die has been cast.
My early upbringing, strange by today’s standards; my traditional education which, after a homesick start, I enjoyed hugely; a nasty accident; Cambridge; the City and then my two extraordinarily lucky starts in both journalism and broadcasting have all left their mark. I have, therefore, written at some length about my early life and tried to bring alive some of the more remarkable characters who had an influence on me as I started out.
I have spent a life unashamedly in pursuit of fun and this book is meant to be a reflection of that. I know I have been horribly self-indulgent and hedonistic and altogether pretty selfish, but I hope also that I have communicated a fair measure of enjoyment and pleasure and it is this with which I am trying to deal now.
