Tantric Sex: Making love last

Essences of lily, lemon and lavender were wafted under my nose, and small segments of pineapple, figs and pomegranate teasingly popped into my mouth – all of which I savoured with a sensual pleasure enhanced by being blindfolded. Percussion instruments were gently rattled somewhere near my ears, and my skin was brushed with fabrics, feathers and fur. In this state of heightened sensitivity my hand was placed in the tentative clasp of my neighbour to explore. ‘I don’t know where this is leading,’ I thought, ‘but if this is Tantric foreplay, I want more!’

Tantric workshops have had a bad press – often portrayed as excuses for orgies by the tabloids. Yet they’re not solely about sex but sensuality in the broadest sense. SkyDancing’s ‘Taste of Tantra’ workshops combine the Eastern practices of yoga and meditation with techniques from modern humanistic psychology, which focuses on developing the intimacy skills needed to effectively communicate and connect with our partners. Participants are led through a sequence of exercises designed to increase energy and sensual awareness, culminating in an ‘Erotic massage’ from your partner. Tantra involves letting the mind go and becoming more expressive through your body. Along with a sense of relaxation and playfulness comes a surge of energy, which you can use in creative ways to enhance your interaction with your partner.

Discovering Tantra was a revelation for me – not that it felt strange or exotic. It was more like coming home to myself. Feeling freely expressive, worshipping my own body, and being worshipped all felt natural and inevitable. Of course I am a goddess incarnate; I’d always known that – it was just that no-one else had!

My partner is also a natural Tantric; a very sensual man whose ability to love and connect continues to amaze me, in spite of other problems we have. Like all the men I’ve met on the Tantric path, he loves and honours women.

This honouring of women tends to run through the men who are attracted to, and stay on the Tantric path. They are usually more in touch with their feminine side, which makes it easier for women to express themselves more completely. Of course this doesn’t mean that all relationship problems are automatically solved, but it’s an important foundation for a couple who choose the Tantric path together.