The Lost Diary of Queen Victoria’s Undermaid
Flora McTavish was born the same year as Queen Victoria and as the Queen's undermaid is the perfect person to comment on life above and below the stairs in Victorian times.'VICTORIAN SCANDAL'Scrubber tells allNewly discovered diaries reveal rather more than should be seen or heard of Queen Victoria! Astonishing details of Victorian life from above and below stairs, faithfully recorded by one of HMQ’s faithful servants.• Incredible inventions• Passion and politics• The Queen and her Empire• Albert and Efficiency• Death, drains and duty• Suds and sea-bathing• War and work• Exhibitions and excitement• And much, much more!You’ve never read anything like it before!
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First published in Great Britain by Collins in 1998
Text copyright © Alexandra Parsons 1998
Illustrations copyright © George Hollingworth 1998
Alex Parsons asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of the work.
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Source ISBN: 9780006945819
Ebook Edition © JUNE 2016 ISBN: 9780008191443
Version: 2016-05-18
Other Lost Diaries recently discovered
The Lost Diary of King Henry VIII’s Executioner
The Lost Diary of Erik Bloodaxe, Viking Warrior
The Lost Diary of Julius Caesar’s Slave
The Lost Diary of Tutankhamun’s Mummy
CONTENTS
January 1st, 1837: Snobby Manor, Snootyshire
Spring 1837: Buckingham Palace
Summer 1837: Buckingham Palace
28th June, 1838: Buckingham Palace
Winter 1838: Buckingham Palace
January 1839: Buckingham Palace
Spring 1839: Buckingham Palace
Autumn 1839: Buckingham Palace
January 1840: Buckingham Palace
February 10th, 1840: Buckingham Palace
10 June, 1840: Buckingham Palace
January 1842: Buckingham Palace
January 1843: Buckingham Palace
Autumn 1846: Buckingham Palace
Spring 1848: Buckingham Palace
Spring 1854: Buckingham Palace
The diaries of Mrs Flora Porter, née Flossie Ramsbotham, were found beneath the floorboards at Hampton Court Palace, during recent building works. The little notebooks were tied with pink ribbon and wrapped in a pair of red tartan knickerbockers. Whilst the knickerbockers were graciously received on behalf of the nation by the Victoria and Albert Museum, the diaries themselves met with nothing but scorn. The eminent historian, Professor Dullas Ditchwater (author of dozens of long and extremely dusty volumes about Queen Victoria) dismissed Flora’s diaries as ‘worthless gossip’ and ‘scandalous tittle-tattle’.
When Professor Ditchwater lobbed Flora’s diaries out of his window, they fell into the hands of Alex Parsons, a not-so-eminent or expert historian. She immediately realised that important issues were revealed in the diaries, namely that even Kings and Queens wear underpants, and someone has to wash them. Now, thanks to Ms Parsons’ timely catch, you too can view Queen Victoria’s life and times from the unique perspective of the wash tub.
THIS DIARY BELONGS TO:
‘Do not forget, gentle reader; servants are also human beings,’ it says in this book of Household Management I dug out of Lady Snobby’s library. Oh yeah! That’ll come as news to Lady La-di-dah Bossy Boots. Since when do I have time to be a human being, I’d like to know? Sixteen hours a day up to my elbows in soap suds, and life not made easier with the wretched butler trying to kiss me. (I wouldn’t mind so much but he’s got a wart on the end of his nose with three wiry hairs sticking out of it, yeeuch!) Miserable wages, miserable household, and the Snobbies are unbearable. Flossie Ramsbotham, you were born for better things.
Since this is the day to make New Year’s resolutions here are mine:
That should do it, I reckon.
Made it! What can one say about my new boss, our esteemed monarch, William one-vee? Well, to put it kindly, our dear King looks about a hundred years old and his eyes stick out like a frog’s. He has zillions of children by an actress called Mrs Jordan and none at all by his wife, the rather dotty Queen Adelaide. Setting an example to the lower orders indeed!
