Well, you could have knocked me down with the most expensive ostrich feather in Thebes when my dear boy told me his surprise! I know he’s the Pharaoh and can do whatever he wants, even though he’s only nine years old, but even I wasn’t expecting this.
I knew he was up to something. I’d seen him whispering to his little friend Ankhy Pankhy and sneaking glances at me, thinking I hadn’t noticed. I overheard words like ‘out of the way for a long time’, and ‘get lost for ever’, so I knew he was up to something extra special. And then he told me.
‘Mum, you know you’re always telling me how important the River Nile is to everyone in Egypt. Well, I was wondering how you’d like a bit of a break – a nice long break – like a cruise all the way down the river to Giza, to see the pyramids.’
To be honest, I’ve never been very interested in the pyramids. Who wants to wander round boring old piles of stones that have been collecting dust for over 1200 years? That’s what tourists do, as I told Tutti.
‘Yes, but tourists don’t travel in the royal barge, stopping to stay with their friends and shopping at places like Herrods with other people’s money, do they?’
I had to admit that he was right and the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of cruising in luxury, being pampered and having everything paid for with everyone looking up to me for a change. I also fancied visiting my childhood friend Nicencleen who lives out at the Faiyum and I could spend a few days in Memphis with Helvis and Preslettiti and shop till I drop with exhaustion.
That’s why I started writing you, dear diary. I know I get a bit forgetful and muddled and I thought this would help me remember all the lovely things I’m going to see and do while I’m away. I thought it would be a nice present for Tutti when I get back – whenever that is.
Now, I must go for my bath… or is it my wig fitting… or my new robe… or my lunch? If only someone would invent something clever that reminds you of all the things you have to do without you having to remember them, but I suppose that’s like imagining you could fly through the air from here to Giza instead of going by river.
We do have funny ideas don’t we?