Pagan Jones went from Americaâs sweetheart to fallen angel in one fateful night in 1960: the night a car accident killed her whole family. Pagan was behind the wheel and driving drunk. Nine months later, sheâs stuck in the Lighthouse Reformatory for Wayward Girls and tortured by her guiltânot to mention the sadistic Miss Edwards, who takes special delight in humiliating the once-great Pagan Jones.
But all of that is about to change. Paganâs old agent shows up with a mysterious studio executive, Devin Black, and an offer. Pagan will be released from juvenile detention if she accepts a juicy role in a comedy directed by award-winning director Bennie Wexler. The shoot starts in West Berlin in just three days. If Paganâs going to do it, she has to decide fastâand she has to agree to a court-appointed âguardian,â the handsome yet infuriating Devin, whoâs too young, too smooth and too sophisticated to be some studio flack.
The offerâs too good to be true, Berlinâs in turmoil and Devin Black knows way too much about herâthereâs definitely something fishy going on. But if anyone can take on a divided city, a scheming guardian and the criticism of a world that once adored her, itâs the notorious Pagan Jones. What could go wrong?
âHollywood is a place where theyâll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.â
âMARILYN MONROE
âBerlin. What a garrison of spies! What a cabinet full of useless liquid secrets. What a playground for every alchemist, miracle worker, and rat piper that ever took up the cloak.â
âJOHN LE CARRÃ
Time in solitary goes by with unbearable slowness when youâve killed every member of your family. With nothing for Pagan Jones to do but pace the five steps back and forth between the walls of a former broom closet, it wasnât surprising that all she could think about was blood and shattered glass and her baby sisterâs final scream.
At Lighthouse Reformatory for Wayward Girls, a summer Saturday night usually offered up a group dinner of canned beef stew followed by a Lawrence Welk rerun. But here in solitary, Pagan had only a hard narrow cot next to a seatless toilet, a sink, and four blank walls reflecting back her darkest thoughts.
Miss Edwards herself came bearing a tray of congealing food in her bony hands. Her heavily starched black uniform rustled as she set the tray down on Paganâs cot. Waitressing creamed corn and meat loaf would have normally been beneath her. But from the smirk on those narrow lips, Pagan could tell Miss Edwards had made an exception so she could take in every moment of Paganâs humiliation.
It took every ounce of Paganâs self-control not to grab the womanâs skeletal upper arms and shake her, but then sheâd never know what had happened to her roommate after their aborted escape attempt the night before. She swallowed down her anger and asked, âCould you tell me, please. What happened to Mercedes?â
Miss Edwards lifted her narrow shoulders in a sad little shrug.
Horror threatened to close up Paganâs throat. Mercedes couldnât be dead. âYou have to tell me if sheâs okay, at the very least!â It came out louder, more desperate than she wanted. âWhat happened?â
The matronâs shark-like smile widened. âWhat makes you think you deserve to know?â
Pagan fought back a flush of shame. She didnât deserve anything. She knew that. Sheâd earned a fate far worse than two years locked up in Lighthouse. But ever since the night she drove her cherry-red Corvette off Mulholland Drive, killing her father and younger sister, a kind of claustrophobia had closed in. It wasnât a fear of enclosed spaces. More like a need to know she had a way out of any situation. As soon as the judge had sentenced her to reform school, the remorseless itch had taken hold. Any situation she couldnât extricate herself from felt like the end of the world.
Sheâd tried to be good her first few months in Lighthouse. Sheâd stuffed down her anxiety, bitten her nails, and annoyed Mercedes by constantly pacing their tiny room like a lion in the zoo. But inevitably the necessity to get the hell out, to prove she had a choice, had become unbearable.