âBreathe. Come on, Karen, just breathe.â Karen Roberts stood in the back of the opulent ballroom in the Kyonosian palace, hugging a pillar, using it as a lifeline as she listened to the announcement.
âThe wedding will take place in just over three weeks.â King Stephanos of Kyonosâs voice was loud and sure, everyone in attendance held captive by his words. By the promise of a union between Kyonos and Komenia.
Which meant the union between King Stephanosâs daughter, Princess Evangelina Drakos, and Komeniaâs prince, Bastian Van Saantârespected ruler, tyrannical boss and the love of Karenâs lifeâwas now set in stone.
It was just stupid to be whiny and soggy about it. Bastian had had four years to wake up and notice that she was a woman. A woman with breasts and everything, which he seemed to like, by all accounts. But heâd never liked hers.
Or at least, heâd never made any show of liking hers.
Well, there was that one time whenâ But she didnât let herself think about that. And anyway, since that one time she wasnât letting herself think about, he hadnât shown any interest in her.
And she shouldnât want him to, given their differences. Except she did. And if she couldnât have forever, she was reduced to wanting at least one night with him, and that was destructive beyond reason. She wasnât a one-night-stand girl. She was a commitment girl. Sheâd only had one boyfriend, and that had lasted three years. Then, just after sheâd graduated from college, sheâd gotten the offer of a job in the Komenian palace, and her enthusiastic âHeck, yeah!â hadnât gone down well with the man in her life, who hadnât seen the point of trying the long-distance thing.
Which had worked out nicely since sheâd fallen head over heels for Prince Bastian the moment sheâd set foot in his office. Her feelings for Bastian had been pointless from the first moment sheâd seen him, and they were even more pointless now. But still her body ached for his, and now her heart hurt so bad she wanted to cut it out with a spoon.
She sucked in a breath and turned, walking out the back doors and into the empty corridor. She was shaking. And seriously afraid she might vomit.
She and Bastian were staying here in the palace, and it was lovely. But right now it wouldnât have mattered if she was here or in a fleabag motel. Because no matter how opulent her surroundings, it didnât make this whole thing suck any less.
She wandered down the corridor and to the left, stopping for a second, unsure now, with the lights dimmed and the halls empty of servants, if sheâd gone in the right direction. It had taken long enough to get used to the layout of the massive palace in Komenia; she could hardly adjust to a brand-new castle in twelve hours. Especially when she was grappling with epic heartbreak.
She took a few more turns but didnât recognize any of the uniform doors. Or rather, she didnât think any of them looked particularly more like the door to her room than the others did. Well, shoot. Now she was heartbroken and lost.
She stopped walking and leaned back against the wall, resting her head on the cold marble. Tonight was the worst night of her life. Worse than anything, ever.
But then, a girl had to expect this kind of thing when she went and fell in love with a prince. Especially when that girl was as ordinary as could be. She closed her eyes and she let the old memory play out in her mind, that one time heâd looked at her like a woman.
It had been just after his father had died. Sheâd been working late in the office and he, unable to sleep, had come in unannounced. She could rememberâso strong, so vividâhim sitting on the edge of her desk, pain and sadness etched on his handsome face.
âI hardly knew him, Karen. He was a figurehead, even to me. Hardly a person. I worry sometimes that that is what Iâll become, too. That there will be no one to grieve for me as a human being when I die. Theyâll only be grieving for an ideal. Because being a ruler means putting your feelings away. Denying it all for a bigger picture.â
âI know how you feel, Bastian. I meanâ¦kind of. On a smaller scale. I had to leave my boyfriend for this job. Itâs not ruling but itâsâ¦the bigger picture.â
âDo you ever worry that it will keep you from finding happiness?â
She looked up at him, and she saw her shot at real happiness. âSometimes.â
He leaned in, his lips close to hers. âI wonder what it would be like to just forget it all for a while. To do somethingâ¦something I shouldnât.â
Sheâd really, really wanted to be that something he shouldnât do. But heâd pulled away. And instead theyâd started making plans to see his fatherâs vision for the country through. To make sure his fatherâs life, his sacrifices, counted.