HarperImpulse
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First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2018
Copyright © M L Roberts 2018
Cover photographs © Shutterstock.com
Cover design by Ellie Game © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2018
M L Roberts asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the authorâs imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Ebook Edition © January 2018 ISBN: 9780008259891
Version: 2018â01â18
âCan you see it now, Ellie?â
Heâs talking, but Iâm not listening. Iâm tuning him out, letting his voice fade into the background.
âCan you see whatâs happening?â
Why is he here? Iâm almost sure I told him I wanted to be alone, so why is he in my kitchen?
âYou need to go, Liam.â
âIâm not going anywhere. Iâm not leaving you alone, not now.â
I raise my head slowly to look at him. âWhy? What are you scared of? Do you think Iâm going to do something stupid? Is that it?â
âNoâ¦â
âThen you can go, canât you?â
âCome home with me, Ellie. Please.â
I shake my head. I want to be on my own. For the first time in a long time I actually want to be alone, in this house.
He comes over to me, takes hold of my wrists and unfolds my arms. He takes my hands in his, his grip tight around my fingers.
âI donât think you should stay here. This house, it isnât good for you.â
âItâs my home.â
âPack a few things and come back to mine. Please, Ellie.â
I tug my hands free of his and walk over to the counter. I pour myself a large measure of whisky, but before I can drink it heâs taken the glass from me. Poured the whisky down the sink.
âWhat the hell are you doing?â
âPack a bag and come home with me.â
âJust go, Liam. Please.â
âSheâs pregnant, Ellie. You saw that, right? You saw Michael, with herâ¦â
I swing around and stare at him. Iâm tired of him now, I donât want him here. I need to think. âWe donât know the baby is his.â
âJesus, Ellie, come onâ¦!â
He rakes a hand through his hair, throws his head back and sighs heavily.
âYou want it to be true, donât you? You want to believe that my husband is sleeping with her, that he got her pregnant, you want that to be true. Why, Liam? Because you think thatâll make me stop loving him? Make me run to youâ¦?â
âYouâve already run to me, Ellie.â He moves a little closer, reaches out to touch my cheek. âAnd you didnât do that for the hell of it. You did it for a reason, youâre just too scared to admit it.â
âYou need to go. Please.â
He pulls his hand back, steps away from me, but his eyes remain fixed on mine. âI love you, have you got that yet? I love you so much, and I wonât let him do this to you. I wonât let him hurt you like this.â
I say nothing. I just keep staring at him, hoping heâll get the message. That heâll leave, I really do need to be alone now.
âThis is killing you, he is killing you, and I canât stand by and watch him do that.â
Still, I remain silent. I want him to go, I canât think with him here, heâs too much of a distraction.
âEllie?â
I shake my head. He needs to go. And he does, eventually. But I wait until I hear his car leave the driveway before I move, before I head into the hall, pull the bolts across the door. Make myself safe. And as soon as thatâs done I lean back against the wall, close my eyes, and take a second to breathe. A second to let what I saw today sink in.