âYouâre here now and apparently I canât do anything about that.
âBut let me make one thing very clear. I donât want your sympathy, Alexis. Iâm all sympathized out.â
âI can see that,â she said. Her voice was dry and calm but he could see the shadows in her dark chocolate brown eyes and he knew heâd hurt her.
He closed his own eyes briefly and dragged in a leveling breath. He hadnât meant to be so harsh, but it was his default setting these days. âIâm going for a shower,â he said tightly and left.
Heâd fought against this happening. Heâd known, logically, that one day his defenses would be worn down. He just never imagined those defenses would be stormed by the one woman in the whole world heâd hoped never to see again and yet still craved with a hunger he could never assuage.
* * *
Wanting What She Canât Have
is part of The Master Vinters series: Tangled vines, tangled lives
New Zealand born, to Dutch immigrant parents, YVONNE LINDSAY became an avid romance reader at the age of thirteen. Now, married to her âblind dateâ and with two fabulous children, she remains a firm believer in the power of romance. Yvonne feels privileged to be able to bring to her readers the stories of her heart. In her spare time, when not writing, she can be found with her nose firmly in a book, reliving the power of love in all walks of life. She can be contacted via her website, www.yvonnelindsay.com.
One
Alexis watched him from the doorway to the winery. Late afternoon sun slanted through the windows at the end of the room, illuminating tiny dust motes that floated on air redolent with the scent of fermented grapes. But she was oblivious to the artistic beauty of the settingâher focus solely on the man who worked on, unaware of her presence.
Heâd changed. God, how heâd changed. He was thinner, gaunt even, and his signature well-groomed appearance had given way to a self-executed haircut, a stretched and faded T-shirt and torn jeans. His face obviously hadnât seen a razor in several days. But then grief was bound to do that to a manâto diminish the importance of the everyday tasks heâd done automatically and replace them with indifference.
How could she help a man who was clearly long past any interest in helping himself?
The weight of what sheâd agreed to do felt heavy and uncomfortable on her shoulders. She, the one who always willingly stepped up to the plate when everything went pear-shaped, was now thinking that perhaps this time sheâd bitten off more than she could chew.
Straightening her shoulders, she shook off her doubts. Bree had turned to her in her time of needâhad written a letter that begged Alexis to take care of her husband and the child sheâd been on the verge of delivering should something happen to her, as if sheâd known what lay ahead. While her best friend had died before Alexis could give her that promise, in her heart she knew she couldnât refuseâcouldnât walk away. Even if keeping that promise meant putting her heart back in firing range from the man sheâd been magnetically drawn to from the moment sheâd first met him.
Raoul stilled in his actions. His attention shifted from the table of wine samples before him, his pen dropping from his hand to the clipboard covered in hand-scrawled notes that lay on the stark white tablecloth. He lifted his head and turned toward her, his face registering a brief flash of surprise together with something else she couldnât quite put her finger on. It was gone in an instant, replaced by a tight mask of aloofness.
âAlexis,â he said, accompanied by a tight nod.
âI came as soon as I heard. Iâm sorry it took so long. I...â Her voice trailed away. How did you tell a man that it had taken almost a year to hear about the birth of his daughter and the death of the love of his life because youâd severed ties with his wife, your best friend since kindergarten, when it became too painful to see her happiness with him? That youâd âforgottenâ to give her your new email address or the number to the cell phone you bought when your work started requiring more international travel because you couldnât bear to hear any more about how perfect they were together? Because you had coveted him for yourself?
Because you still did.
She took a deep breath and swallowed against the lump of raw grief that swelled in her throat.
âIâve been traveling for a while, ever since my business...â The words died at the expression on his face. Clearly Raoul could not care less about the success sheâd been enjoying ever since her clothing line finally started taking off. âBreeâs letter caught up with me at my fatherâs house. It must have been following me around the world for the past year.â