When I Surrender
From the author of FILTHY BEAUTIFUL LIES comes a hotly charged new erotica series - this is book 2 of 3. Perfect for fans of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.The scorching sequel to WHEN I BREAK…A relationship between a counsellor and the addict she’s trying to save was never going to be straightforward, but – undaunted by Knox's complicated history with sexual addiction – McKenna can’t stay away from this deliciously flawed man. And on a rollarcoaster from the highest highs to the lowest lows, she can’t stop worrying that his past may not be entirely behind him.But when a complication from her own past demands attention, she's forced to decide where their relationship is headed, and to question everything she thought she knew…
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When I Surrender
When I Break series Book 2
BY KENDALL RYAN
Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
First published by Kendall Ryan Books 2014
First published in Great Britain by Harper 2015
Copyright © Kendall Ryan 2014
Cover photograph © Vincent Besnault / Getty Images
Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2015
Kendall Ryan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the authorâs imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9781496109682
Ebook Edition © April 2015 ISBN: 9780008133955
Version 2015-03-31
Contents
Knox
The girl, whose name I couldnât recall, writhed beneath me on the bed, ready and waiting. My pulse spiked as I watched her tempting curves move in the moonlight.
âGo down on me.â She squirmed, wiggling her hips as if to entice me south.
âIâm not eating your pussy. Youâre a stripper, baby, I donât know where that thingâs been.â It was probably an asshole thing to say, but that shit was the truth.
She let out a short laugh, but didnât disagree.
âRoll over. I want you from behind.â That way I wouldnât have to look into eyes that werenât McKennaâs when I sank inside her. The darkness inside me had lain dormant for too long. Because of her. It was probably a good thing she figured out I was all wrong for her before I did something bad.
I reached for a condom, knowing that the dual sensations of relief and regret would soon be flooding my system. It was familiar to me, and a feeling I welcomed. Even as I rolled the condom on, I knew this dull ache inside wouldnât be satisfied by the girl in front of me. But this was who I was and I wasnât fighting it anymore. McKenna might have helped me see the light, but she wasnât here now. Just this warm, willing girl who wanted me. Sinking into her slick heat was the only thing I needed to numb my pain. Not to be psychoanalyzed by a girl who would probably never trust me anyhow. Iâd lost McKenna anyway, so why was I even thinking about that? The truth was, she was still the only woman I thought about day and night, even when I was about to satisfy my needs with some random hookup.
The pattern was impossible to ignore â Iâd lost every woman I cared for, beginning with my mother several years ago. That had been the start of my descent into becoming the man I was now. Thoughts of my mother did nothing to relax me. In fact, I felt on edge and wound tighter than ever.
âWhatâs wrong? What are you waiting for?â The girl shifted to her side and gazed up at me, obviously looking for the same release as me. Blinking several times, I fought to understand what I was seeing â her dark hair and eyes made her resemble my mother. What the fuck? I scrambled away from her on my hands and knees.
With my heart hammering against my ribs, I opened my eyes to blackness all around me. I blinked again, struggling to see.
I was in my bed, alone, sweat glistening along my skin. Itâd all been a dream. Thank God. My room was as dark and empty as my heart. I took a deep, shaky breath and scrubbed my hands over my face while adrenaline pulsed through my veins. I needed to calm the fuck down.
Knowing I wouldnât get back to sleep anytime soon, I climbed from bed and headed downstairs. I downed a glass of cool water and checked on the boys, who were all sleeping soundly, before returning to my own bed. I fell onto the mattress with a thud, my heartbeat still too fast to fully relax.
Itâd been a week since Iâd seen McKenna â sobbing and hysterical over the thought that Iâd slept with Amanda. It still tore me up remembering her like that. Iâd done my best to calm her, to try and make her see reason â that I was messed up and it was only a matter of time before I really hurt her â but I hadnât touched that girl. Sheâd fled the building without a backward glance. She either didnât believe me, didnât care, or both.
