Always in the Kitchen at Parties: Simple Tools for Instant Confidence
The bestselling relationships author of How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You is back: Leil Lowdnes has written a lively and empowering book that will help anybody who lacks self-confidence or is held back by shyness. If you're the kind of person who wants to hide in the kitchen at parties, Leil will help you get out and mingle like a pro.Written with insight, humour and empathy, Leil Lowdnes reaches out to anybody who gets jumpy in social situations and offers clear guidance on becoming a social success in the most gruelling of situations. Even better, she’ll turn dread into enjoyment.Leil covers a wide range of scenarios including:• New Friend Fidgety – Uneasiness when meeting new people• Phone Phobia – Hesitant to answer or talk on the phone• Party Panic – Anxiety at gatherings• Job Jumpy – Fear of job interviews and shyness at work• Cold Sweat Stage Fright – Panic when people are watching• Presentation Paralyzed – Petrified at making a speech• Boss Bashful – Speechless around superiors
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HarperElement
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London SE1 9GF
The website address is: www.harpercollins.co.uk
and HarperElement are trademarks of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd
First published in the UK by HarperElement 2006
© Leil Lowndes 2005
A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library
Leil Lowndes asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Source ISBN 9780007199785
Ebook Edition © FEBRUARY 2015 ISBN: 9780008138400
Version: 2015-11-04
HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.
contents
Section I: A Word to the Shy …
SHYBUSTER 1 Go Cold Turkey on the Small Stuff
Don’t Expect a Miracle (Today at Least!)
SHYBUSTER 2 Eat the Peaches at Your Own Pace
SHYBUSTER 3 Wake Up Like a Whacko
Section II: Why Am I Shy?
Take the ‘Cot Test’ to See if You Were Born Shy
SHYBUSTER 4 Ask Them if You Freaked Out
Did I ‘Catch’ a Dose of Shyness?
SHYBUSTER 5 Rummage Through Your Relatives
SHYBUSTER 6 Did Shyness Rub Off On You?
Was it Bullies in Bygone Days?
SHYBUSTER 7 Replay the Early Show
It Was All Mum and Dad’s Fault
SHYBUSTER 8 Don’t Baby Your Baby
Section III: Dealing with People Until Your Shyness Is Gone
SHYBUSTER 9 Why Tell Strangers?
SHYBUSTER 10 Don’t Burn Yourself with the ‘Shy’ Branding Iron
Tell the Truth, the Half-truth, and Nothing But the Half-truth
SHYBUSTER 11 I’m Shy, So What?
Section IV: What People Really Think of You
SHYBUSTER 12 Be Shy on the Sly
Take Off Your Mud-coloured Spectacles
SHYBUSTER 13 Pitch the Paranoia
Don’t Be a Sucker for Rejection
SHYBUSTER 14 Don’t Choose Toxic Friends
Come Back Down Off the Ceiling
SHYBUSTER 15 Stamp Out the Surreal
Think of Your Shyness from Their Perspective
SHYBUSTER 16 Don’t Let Stupid Sures Make You Shy
SHYBUSTER 17 Be Your Own Social Scribe
I Think I’m Beginning to Love You, Self
SHYBUSTER 18 Find Your Passion and Your Purpose
Section V: Getting Out of the Kitchen
A Shy’s Most Important 10 Seconds
SHYBUSTER 19 Click on ‘Animate’ for 10 Seconds
Who’s the Boss? Your Mind or Body?
SHYBUSTER 20 Let Your Body Be the Boss
SHYBUSTER 22 Octogenarian Eyes
SHYBUSTER 24 Say ‘I Like You’ Silently
A Quick Smile and a Slow Jet Get You Nowhere Fast
SHYBUSTER 25 Make Faces at Yourself
SHYBUSTER 26 A Lifetime of Happiness Was Lost
SHYBUSTER 27 Don’t Let Them Feel Snubbed
If at First You Don’t Succeed, Swear!
SHYBUSTER 28 Your First Failure Is Success
Battling Blushing, Sweating and Clammy Hands
SHYBUSTER 29 Laugh It Off Before It Happens
Section VI: Absolutely No-Pain, Lots-of-Gain Techniques
The Power and Pleasure of Anonymity
SHYBUSTER 30 Be Anonymous for a Day
SHYBUSTER 31 Be an Undercover Shy
SHYBUSTER 32 Kick Out the Dull Kit
SHYBUSTER 33 Be a Part-time Job-hopper
Section VII: Get a (New) Life
SHYBUSTER 34 Time to Jump Ship?
The Shy’s Sneaky Way to Get a Super Job
SHYBUSTER 35 Interview with Companies You Don’t Want to Work For
Section VIII: Parties and Other Places in Hell
SHYBUSTER 36 Prescription: One Small Dose of Party
Going to a Party Is Not ‘Going to a Party’
SHYBUSTER 37 Have a Buddy Monitor You
SHYBUSTER 38 Showing Up Is Not Enough
SHYBUSTER 39 Ponder Before the Party
Getting Legless Is Not the Answer
SHYBUSTER 41 Drink and Drugs Make Shyness Worse
How to Get Off the Hook (Half the Time)
The Danger of Being a ‘Denying Shy’
SHYBUSTER 43 Bring a Note from Your Subconscious
Section IX: Fearless Conversation
SHYBUSTER 44 Be Banal, But Not Brief
SHYBUSTER 45 Sound Dazzled Over the Dullest Things
SHYBUSTER 46 Use Their Moniker in Moderation
SHYBUSTER 47 Ask ‘Go On’ Questions
SHYBUSTER 49 Looking Longer Looks Smart
SHYBUSTER 50 Lingering Looks Kindle ‘Chemistry’
