Bad Dad
The new heart-warming and hilariously brilliant story from number one bestselling author David Walliams. Beautifully illustrated by artistic genius, Tony Ross.Dads come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.There are fat ones and thin ones, tall ones and short ones.There are young ones and old ones, clever ones and stupid ones.There are silly ones and serious ones, loud ones and quiet ones.Of course, there are good dads, and bad dads . . .A high-speed cops and robbers adventure with heart and soul about a father and son taking on the villainous Mr Big – and winning!This riches-to-rags story will have you on the edge of your seat and howling with laughter!Bad Dad is a fast and furious, heart-warming story of a father and son on an adventure – and a thrilling mission to break an innocent man into prison!
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First published in
Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2017
HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd, HarperCollins Publishers, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF
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Text copyright © David Walliams 2017
David Walliams and Tony Ross assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of the work respectively.
Cover lettering of author’s name copyright © Quentin Blake 2017. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Illustrations copyright © Tony Ross 2017
Source ISBN: 9780008164652
Ebook Edition © NOVEMBER 2017 ISBN: 9780008164676
Version: 2017-11-09
Cover illustration copyright © Tony Ross 2017
Cover design copyright © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2017
Cover lettering of author’s name copyright © Quentin Blake 2010
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Contents
Chapter 3: Crushed in the Crash
Chapter 6: The Smell of Old Books
Chapter 10: No Time to Breathe
Chapter 11: Two Wheels are Better than Four!
Chapter 15: Psalms and Ping-Pong
Chapter 16: All Bag and No Tea
Chapter 24: Monsters of the Deep
Chapter 32: What Goes Up Must Come Down
Chapter 35: Champagne, Perfume and Hairspray
Chapter 39: A Figure in the Shadows
Chapter 47: Where Did You Get That Goose?
Chapter 51: A Graveyard for Cars
Chapter 58: Kill Two Birds With One Stone
Chapter 59: Overcooked Sausages
Chapter 61: The Noise! The People!
Chapter 65: Frank Takes the Stage
Chapter 66: Not a Seat in the House
Dads come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There are FAT ones and thin ones, tall ones and short ones. There are young ones and old ones, clever ones and stupid ones.
There are silly ones and serious ones, LOUD ones and quiet ones.
Of course there are good dads, and bad dads.
This is the story of a dad and his son.
Frank is the son.
Dad is the dad. His name is Gilbert.
This is Rita, Frank’s mum.
Auntie Flip is Dad’s aunt.
She babysits Frank sometimes.
Mr Big is a surprisingly small crime boss. Whatever time of day it is, he wears silk pyjamas and a dressing gown, with velvet slippers monogrammed “Mr B”.
Mr Big has two henchmen, Fingers and Thumbs.
Fingers is so called for his long, thin fingers, perfect for picking pockets.
Thumbs has enormous thumbs that he uses to inflict terrible pain on Mr Big’s enemies.
Will and Bear are Thumbs’s fearsome nephews.
Chang is Mr Big’s sinister butler.
Reverend Judith is a vicar.
Sergeant Scoff is the local policeman.
Mr Swivel is a one-eyed prison guard.
Judge Pillar is well known for having a heart of stone.
Raj is a newsagent.
This is a map of the town.
… as they zoomed round and round.
Dad raced an old Mini that he had souped up himself. He had painted a Union Jack on the car, and named her “Queenie” after a lady he admired, Her Majesty the Queen. The car became as famous in racing circles as Dad.
