Blooming Birth: How to get the pregnancy and birth you want
The busy woman’s guide to taking control of pregnancy and birth.Pregnancy titles have never been thicker on the ground, and women have supposedly more choices in childbirth than ever before. So why do 6 out of 10 women feel their antenatal classes completely failed to prepare them for birth? And 7 out of 10 say that they did not get the birth they wanted, and regretted it deeply?Blooming Birth is a hands-on, focused guide to taking control of your pregnancy and birth, helping you prepare your body and brain for childbirth in the real world. It does not, like many pregnancy books, assume that all pregnant women have to do is sit around in sunny kitchens drinking orange juice. It is also a book for thinking women – both first time mums and those having second or subsequent babies who simply want it to be better this time. Each chapter contains crib sheets and bullet points for when you've only got a few minutes to spare.In succinct, highly engaging language, in chapters from Birthing for Beginners to Frozen Peas and Pyjamas, it takes you through the realities of pregnancy and birth – from stretchmarks to guilt – and the decisions to be made, so that you can be confident of having a manageable, happy experience – whatever happens on the day.Contents• Pregnancy for busy women• Birthing for Beginners• Second Time Around• Preconceptions• The Unexpected• Surgical Birth• Your Options• Your Support Team• Your Partner• Frozen Peas and Pyjamas – the keys to post-childbirth success
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Contents
CHAPTER ONE Pregnancy for busy women
CHAPTER TWO Birthing for beginners
CHAPTER FOUR Second time around
CHAPTER SEVEN Expect the unexpected…
CHAPTER EIGHT Blokes, birth and babies
CHAPTER NINE The love of a good woman
When I was pregnant for the first time, I was your typical swotty mother-to-be. What to Expect When You’re Expecting was my bible. I diligently attended childbirth classes, toured my local hospital and performed regular antenatal yoga exercises. I was supposed to push the baby out with my breath but ended up with every intervention known to modern obstetrics (at least that’s how it felt). I was healthy, educated and – supposedly – informed but still the reality of childbirth floored me. And I’m not alone. One 2005 survey of 3,000 first-time mothers found that for the majority of women giving birth in the UK today, childbirth is a scary ordeal that leaves us in a state of shock. Eight out of ten of us say we were frightened at some point during labour, and that giving birth was more painful than we had ever imagined. One-third of us, meanwhile, say ante-natal classes didn’t prepare us for the reality of childbirth.>1 Our preparations, it would seem, are not exactly hitting the mark.
When I got pregnant for the second time, I was really scared about the birth. I had just moved to the States where doulas – women who are trained to give you emotional and practical support during pregnancy and childbirth – are widely available and people kept telling me I should hire one. Figuring I had nothing to lose I started to interview doulas. There was something about Julia that stood out – a combination of practicality, pragmatism, realism and genuine empathy. She also has impressive credentials. Julia is a mother of two, a doula and childbirth teacher, trained and certified by the world’s largest doula organisation (DONA International) to give women emotional and practical – but not medical – support before, during and after childbirth. She has 14 years’ experience of helping women through pregnancy and birth and is a certified counsellor and hypnotherapist. She has also worked with all kinds of mothers: she founded and ran the The New Hope Doula Project in Seattle, connecting volunteer doulas with women giving their babies for adoption. She also founded a non-profit support group for women who have had caesareans (and are upset by them) and she designed and set up a popular network of mother’s groups – helping women connect with one another for support, companionship and ideas across the States. Julia was, to put it mildly, a lucky find.
She worked closely with me for the rest of my pregnancy and showed me that truly preparing for childbirth is about admitting what scares you, making good choices, staying open minded and learning brilliant ways to cope with whatever labour throws at you on the day. It’s about understanding, and accepting the areas over which you have no control – without becoming a fatalistic loon about the whole thing. When I went into labour for the second time, I was prepared to handle whatever happened (including my worst case scenario). My son’s birth was an amazing, positive experience. As a journalist used to disseminating information, it amazed me that I’d come across no book or resource that could compare with the work Julia did to help me prepare for childbirth. It was clear to me that her methodology and experience could – and should – be made available to any woman who simply wanted to have a better birth. Julia’s work with me – and with countless other mothers and mothers-to-be over the years – forms the backbone of this book. It will be relevant to you whether this is your first baby, or you have a whole brood already. Blooming Birth is for any woman who simply wants to give birth without feeling shocked, terrified, upset or horrified by the experience.
Though doulas are becoming more and more popular in Britain, they are still a relatively new phenomenon here. Not all of us can afford, or find, one where we live. This book will give you some useful doula tricks for coping during childbirth. It will also show you what your partner – and anyone else who’ll be supporting you during this birth – can learn from doulas.
The actual writing of this book was my department. As a health writer for newspapers like The Guardian, I’m used to grappling with ideas, interviewing experts and translating their arcane medical jargon into something that normal people can actually understand. Since I specialise in writing about pregnancy, birth and babies I’m also used to finding the best expert, support group or information source for these particular issues. This is where my professional skills come in but, above all, I’m writing this book as a mother. I have three children (my third baby, Ted, was born somewhere around Chapter 5 so I’m certainly up to date on birth in Britain). I am, then, your average ‘punter’. I’m not a childbirth expert, a childbirth nut or medically trained in any way: I’m a mother like you, who simply wanted and got a better experience of childbirth. I used the ideas in this book to prepare for, and cope with, Ted’s birth: they worked brilliantly (again).
