‘It’s OK, I’m wearing really big knickers!’
Brilliantly funny, teenage angst author Louise Rennison’s second book about the confessions of crazy but lovable Georgia Nicolson. Louise is an international bestselling author and her books can’t fail to make you laugh out loud.What is the matter with my life? Why is it so deeply unfab?• It's a day and a half now since I snogged the Sex God…• I think I have snog withdrawal. My lips keep puckering up…• I tried snogging the back of my hand, but it's no good…• It's been over a week. I wonder if it's my nose…• I have a HUGE nose that means I have to live for ever in the Ugly Home.
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This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Copyright © Louise Rennison 2000
First published in Great Britain by Piccadilly Press Ltd, 2000
Published by Scholastic Ltd, 2001
This edition published by HarperCollins Childrenâs Books, 2005
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
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Source ISBN: 9780007218684
Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2010 ISBN: 9780007405763 Version: 2018-12-04
To my dear family: Mutti, Vati, Sophie, Libbs, Hons, Eduardo Delfonso Delgardo, John S, Apee, Francesbirginia and especially Kimbo. Thanks you all for not killing me yet.
Also dedicated to my mates: Salty Dog, Jools, Jedbox, Badger, Elton, Jimjams, Jenks, Phil, Bobbins, Lozzer, the Mogul, Fanny, Dear GeH. MSH, Porky, Morgan, Alan D, Liz G, Tony G, Psychic Sue, Roge the Doge and Barbara D and the Ace Crew from school, Kim and Cock of the North xxxxxx.
An especial thank you to John, the Pope. Where would I have been without your wise adviceâ âStop making such a fuss and just get on with it, you silly girl!â?
Heartfelt thanks and sympathy to Brenda, Jude, Emma and all the very fab people at Piccadilly.
And of course to Gillon and Clareâ HURRAH!!
Staring out of my bedroom window at other people having a nice life.
Who would have thought things could be so unbelievably pooey? Iâm only fourteen and my life is over because of the selfishosity of so-called grown-ups. I said to Mum, âYou are ruining my life. Just because yours is practically over there is no reason to take it out on me.â
But as usual when I say something sensible and meaningful she just tutted and adjusted her bra like a Russian roulette player. (Or do I mean disco thrower? I donât know and, whatâs more, I donât care.) If I counted up the number of times Iâve been tutted atâ¦I could open a tutting shop. Itâs just SO not fairâ¦How can my parents take me away from my mates and make me go to New Zealand? Who goes to New Zealand?
In the end, when I pointed out how utterly useless as a mum she was, she lost her rag and SHOUTED at me.
âGo to your room right now!â
I said, âAll right, Iâll go to my ROOM!! I WILL go to my room!! And do you know what Iâll be doing in my room? No you donât, so Iâll tell you! Iâll be just BEING in my room. Thatâs all. Because there is nothing else to do!!!!!!â
Then I just slammed off. Left her there. To think about what she has done.
Unfortunately it means that I am in my bed and it is only six oâclock.
7:00 p.m.
Oh Robbie, where are you now? Well, I know where you are now actually, but is this any time to go away on a footie trip?
On the bright side I am now the girlfriend of a Sex God.
7:15 p.m.
On the dark side, the Sex God doesnât know his new girlfriend is going to be forced to go to the other (useless) side of the universe in a weekâs time.
7:18 p.m.
I canât believe that after all the time it has taken to trap the SG, all the make-up I have had to buy, the trailing about, popping up unexpectedly when he was out anywhereâ¦all the planningâ¦all the dreamingâ itâs gone to waste. I finally get him to snog me (number six) and he says, âLetâs see each other but keep it quiet for a bit.â And at that moment, with classic poo timing, Mutti says, âWeâre off to New Zealand next week.â
My eyes are all swollen up like mice eyes from crying. Even my nose is swollen. Itâs not small at the best of times, but now it looks like Iâve got three cheeks. Marvellous. Thank you, God.
