Sexual Performance Anxiety: 10 steps to beat it!
This book is about self-therapy methods of treating such a sexual disorder as the Sexual Performance Anxiety. The one is the most common reason for men to reach out to sexologists. The book presents self-help techniques to address anxiety, self-esteem and partner relationships, and the ones applied in couples sex therapy.
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© Larisa Pletneva, 2024
ISBN 978-5-0064-0350-5
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Preface
Thank you, dear Reader, for buying my book!
Attention: This text should not be considered a substitute for consulting a qualified medical professional. It is strongly recommended to consult a doctor before using a supplement.
My name is Larisa Pletneva, I am a psychologist majoring in sexology, Member of the Association of Sexologists of Russia.
My clients are Men suffering from sexual dysfunctions, such as sexual performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, lack of sexual desire, and so on and so forth, as well as couples experiencing problems in their sexual life.
The idea to write a helpful book addressing such a touchy issue struck me a long time ago. I had a whole lot of failed sessions when clients were uneasy about coming. And I can understand their feelings —it is sometimes incredibly difficult to admit even to oneself that there’s a problem, much less to a stranger, though the one was a psychologist.
Sexual Performance Anxiety (SPA) has been known to the world for a good while: the SPA problem has been faced for as long as Homo sapiens has existed.
Surely, our ancestors lived in the Stone Age were not that concerned about satisfying their females, but failure to perform sexual duties was frowned upon even then.
Why do You need to read this book?
It presents the information I have collated for you from a variety of professional sources, including national masters of sexology, European experience and best practices, and personal observations based on therapy sessions given to clients.
The caveat here is that treating SPA assisted by a sexologist is dozens of times more effective than any self-therapy attempts, but if you are determined to try to overcome it by yourself, I will support you. Deciding to struggle is a major step toward getting rid of the problem.
In this book, I will tell you stories of some men struggling to cope with SPA, both successful and not quite happy ones. All the clients’ names and ages have been changed to make sure they cannot be identified and not to violate the sacred for any psychologist Code of Ethics.
After reading this book, you will learn how to influence your thoughts, control your anxiety, and manage your erection.
Don’t put it off and read it right away! Let me help you have sex back in your life!
Chapter 1. SPA as counterpart of erectile dysfunction
Amir, 34
He was one of my first clients and, I suppose, that is why he stuck in my mind.
He was an Oriental handsome guy with thick curly hair, well made and charismatic.
Having met him on the street, You, dear Reader, would never have thought that he could have any sexual problems. As he was Walking Sex. But no. He did have problems.
He was frantic with despair when he came to me, because his problem had to be solved urgently, literally by the end of that day.
By the way, men often wait until the last moment before reaching out for help, as there is no retreat indeed.
While being a long and happily married man, Amir fell in love like a teenager. The girl was young and sexually inexperienced. He thrilled when he talked about her, but…
The time came to have their first sex and… It was Total Fiasco: he had no erection WHATSOEVER. No matter how hard his new lover tried, no matter how he did, while burning with desire, nothing came of it.
All exhausted and put to shame, Amir came home to his all-too-familiar wife and… My God, he got aroused again, had 17-year-old boy’s erection and performed several sexual acts in a row, leaving his wife speechless.
And so, You, My Reader, have just got to see an absolutely typical pattern of SPA. Amir had no idea what it was; he had only once failed years before – and that only “because he had had a drink’. Apart from that, it had never happened to him before! He was Macho and He-Man after all!
Are you surprised, my Reader? Don’t be, who the choice will fall on doesn’t make any difference to SPA, whether that be a looker who is a fixture in parties or a modest stay-at-home scholar who freaks out when he sees girls on the street.
Anyone’s hard-on can be lost! And Every man has lost his erection before or during sex at least once in their lives!
If You, dear Reader, bought this book, it means you are experiencing inability to get or keep your erection.
I want to tell you that you are not alone, quite a number of celebrities and rulers suffered from this disorder.
The outdated “Impotence” will feature in the examples given here, but it is the very dreadful word that for a very long time was used to call any men’s failure.
The problem of impotence is first mentioned in the Old Testament. God punished King David for adultery and took away his “sword of David”.
In 1486, the Church published a treatise called The Hammer of Witches, which purported men’s potency problems to stem from nothing but witchcraft.
Middle Age men experiencing virility problems took that literally and launched witch-hunts.
