This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the authorâs imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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First published by The Friday Project in 2008
Copyright © John Lenahan 2008
John Lenahan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
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Source ISBN: 9781905548927
Ebook Edition © AUGUST 2009 ISBN: 9780007341054 Version: 2016-08-11
For Finbar, of whom I am exceedingly proud.
âHow come you never told me I had an aunt?â That was the first thing I said. I know, my first question should have been, âAre you alright, Dad?â He didnât look alright. The light was awful, but I could see blood on the side of his face. Iâm amazed I didnât say, âWhat is that smell?â because it sure stank in there. Iâm not talking about a whiffy locker room smell, but the kind of stench that can make it possible to see your breakfast a second time around. Or most obviously I guess I should have asked, âWhere are we?â or, âWhy are we chained to a wall?â But instead, the first question I asked when I regained consciousness was about genealogy.
âWell, Conor,â Dad croaked, not even looking at me, âthe first time you met her, she tried to kill you.â
She had, too.
I was sitting in the living room watching crappy morning television. I was dressed, shaved and ready to go. You had to be with my father. It wasnât unusual for me to run out of the house two minutes behind him and find that he had left without me.
âAre you ready?â he called from the bedroomâin almost Modern Greek.
That was a good sign. It was a simple matter to gauge my fatherâs moodsâthe older the language, the worse his frame of mind. Greek wasnât too bad. I shouted back, in the same language, âBorn ready!â I had learned a long time ago that I had to speak in the language of the day, or else he would ignore me completely.
He came out of his bedroom in a white shirt with a tie hanging around his neck. âCould you do this for me?â
âSure,â I said.
Tie tying was one of the very few things that Pop found impossible to do with just one hand. Most of the time I didnât think of Dad as having a handicap at allâI know a lot of two-handed men much less dexterous than him, and anyway, I was happy to do him a favour. I was just about to hit him up for a bit of cash, so that tonight I could take Sally to a nice restaurant, as opposed to the usual crummy pizza joint.
âWhatâs with the tie?â I asked.
âThe dean wants me to smarten up a bit. There is some famous ancient languages professor visiting who wants to talk about my theories of pronunciation. As if I donât have anything better to do than babysit some idiot.â
That question was a mistake on my part. He said that last sentence in Ancient Gaelic. That was the language he used when he was annoyed or really meant businessâit was almost as if it was his mother tongue. Iâm not talking about Gaelic, the language of the Irish, Iâm talking about Ancient Gaelic, a language found only on crumbling parchments and in my house.