Prince of Hazel and Oak

For the oh so achingly beautiful Nadene

Title Page

Dedication

Chapter One

Detective Fallon

Chapter Two

Jail Break

Chapter Three

Dad

Chapter Four

Prisoner Fallon

Chapter Five

Fand

Chapter Six

Mom

Chapter Seven

The Armoury

Chapter Eight

Spideog

Chapter Nine

Mother Oak

Chapter Ten

The Athrú

Chapter Eleven

Essa

Chapter Twelve

The Turlow

Chapter Thirteen

The Grey Ones

Chapter Fourteen

The Yew House

Chapter Fifteen

Broken Bow

Chapter Sixteen

The Green Knife

Chapter Seventeen

Pop-head

Chapter Eighteen

The Pinelands

Chapter Nineteen

Hawathiee

Chapter Twenty

Tuan

Chapter Twenty-One

Barush

Chapter Twenty-Two

Moran

Chapter Twenty-Three

Re-Pookalation

Chapter Twenty-Four

Yogi Bear

Chapter Twenty-Five

The Alderlands

Chapter Twenty-Six

Dell and What’s-His-Name

Chapter Twenty-Seven

King Bwika

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Fearn Peninsula

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Fire Dancing

Chapter Thirty

Red

Chapter Thirty-One

The Digs

Chapter Thirty-Two

The Invisible Man

Chapter Thirty-Three

Graysea

Chapter Thirty-Four

The Mertain King

Chapter Thirty-Five

The Stream

Chapter Thirty-Six

Ona’s Book

Chapter Thirty-Seven

War

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Ribbons of Gold

Chapter Thirty-Nine

There Will Be Blood

Chapter Forty

The Isles

Chapter Forty-One

The Green Dragon

Chapter Forty-Two

Friends and Enemies

Chapter Forty-Three

Get a Room

Acknowledgements

Other Books by John Lenahan

Copyright

About the Publisher

Detective Fallon seemed to have given up on shouting.

‘I’ve seen people get off by claiming insanity,’ he said, sitting back in his chair. ‘Conor, you ain’t doing it right.’

‘So you don’t think I’m crazy then?’ I asked.

‘Oh, I think you’re plenty crazy but not insane.’

‘Aren’t they synonyms?’

‘Not in my thesaurus. If you want to get off by reason of insanity you have to be a nutcase all the time, you know, with the drooling and the swatting at imaginary bats. You, on the other hand, kill your father and then act completely normal – except for claiming that Daddy was attacked by Imps and Pixies from Faerieland.’

‘Tir na Nog,’ I corrected.

‘Sorry, from Tir na Nog.’

‘And there are no Pixies in Tir na Nog.’

‘Look, O’Neil’ – Detective Fallon leaned in and I could see he was inches away from returning to shouting mode – ‘you’ve been arrested for murder. They’ve got a death penalty in this state.’

‘I didn’t kill my father – honest. If I killed him where’s the body? If there is no body there can’t be a murder.’

‘You’ve been watching too much TV, O’Neil. You can fry without a body – trust me.’

‘So what do you suggest I do?’

Fallon softened back into his good-cop mode. ‘Tell the truth.’

‘Oh that. I was kinda hoping you had a better suggestion.’

The truth – telling the truth is how I had gotten into this mess in the first place. As soon as I returned to what the Tir na Nogians call ‘the Real World’, all of the Real World problems crashed in on me like a tidal wave. I’ve never been very good at lying but what else could I do? Dad’s boss had reported him missing and the cops were waiting for me when I returned. They had lots of questions after finding the front door wide open and the living room trashed. I made up a lame excuse about a boisterous party and told them that Dad was on a spontaneous trip with old fishing buddies. The cops accepted that explanation, but as I later found out, they didn’t believe it.

Sally was really mad at me. She went on and on about how worried she had been and how thoughtless I was for not getting in touch. The sad thing was I didn’t care – not only about Sally but about pretty much everything. What’s that old saying? Home is where the heart is. Well, I had left my heart back in The Land.

Even though I missed the actual ceremony, apparently I had graduated high school. I forced myself to show up for enrolment at the University of Scranton but after just one day I knew I couldn’t face it. What could a college professor teach me? What did they really know?

All food tasted like cardboard and, even worse, when I slept – I didn’t dream. I remembered once telling Fergal that some of the Real World was like The Land but covered in a grey film. Now all of it seemed like that.

And then there was Essa. I knew it was unfair but I couldn’t help comparing her with Sally – and Sally didn’t match up – how could she? It didn’t take a soothsayer to notice my thoughts were elsewhere. Sally finally had enough. She said I had changed, and she was right – we broke up.

I suppose I should have gotten a job but that seemed even more trivial than university, so I spent my time staring at the walls. I couldn’t even stomach watching television.

The trouble really started when the electric company turned off the power. I hadn’t opened any mail, let alone paid bills, but darkness forced me to do something about it. I had the PIN numbers to Dad’s bank accounts (well, he didn’t need money any more, with him living on top of a gold mine). I can remember standing in front of the cash machine as Dad’s words swirled around in my head, ‘There is nothing back there for you.’ I hated it when he was right. I punched the buttons and withdrew a wad of cash. I didn’t think I could feel any lower – I was wrong.