Further praise for The Cheek Perforation Dance:
‘Compelling and disturbing. Pre held ideas about male and female sexuality are turned on their head. Intrigued? You should be. This is a very intriguing novel.’
Irish Independent
‘If you’re searching for a gentle holiday read then allow us not to recommend this. The skill of this courtroom drama is in the construction: Thomas intercuts the court case with flashbacks to their love affair suggesting several disquieting notions of what constitutes modern love.’
Arena
‘Distressingly believable.’
Front
Praise for Kissing England:
‘To say this is elegantly written would be an understatement; the unique essence of England, and being English, is captured perfectly. Imbued with a delicate blend of humour and irony, Kissing England evokes as many personal memories as the ones it creates.’
Time Out
‘Wry, dry, it’s White City Blue meets Brideshead Revisited. Cracking stuff.’
Daily Mirror
‘Thomas balances unremitting explicitness with acutely observed set pieces.’
The Times
— Patch, slow down
Says Joe. Patrick turns, and looks back down the sunny London street. Patrick’s friend Joe is wearing a green and yellow martial arts tee shirt, and notably scuffed indigo jeans. Comparing this choice of attire to his own suit and tie, Patrick wonders how he and Joe must appear: like a banker and his drug dealer, discussing prices; like two guests en route to a mildly bohemian wedding; like the accused and his friend, walking to court.
— Don’t want to be early, do you?
Patrick nods, assessing the truth of this. Then Patrick says:
— Guess not … – Thinking, considering – How about a pint?
Joe lifts his hands:
— It’s nine in the morning
Patrick:
— But they’re open. The pubs are open round here, because of the meat market
— I know they’re open – A sigh, a smile – I was just wondering whether you really want to get lashed half an hour before …
Joe stops; shrugs. Patrick turns on his polished black shoes, walks briskly and authoritatively up a side street, and presses a pub door.
Inside the pub the atmosphere is already noisy, and yeasty. The Smithfield pub is full of office lads beering up before work, and meat-market porters winding down after work. Finding two stools by the sticky bar, Patrick pulls, and sits, and says to the barwoman:
— Pint of Guinness … – Looking sidelong – Joe?
Joe does another vague shrug. Patrick persists:
— Joseph?
— … 6X. Half
— Pint of 6X please
The barwoman nods and takes two glasses from the shelf above; Patrick gazes around the bar. In the corner he can see a platoon of nervy, wide-eyed student kids. The students are giggling and nudging each other as they order beers with their breakfasts.
—Takes me back
Says Patrick. Joe, a bit vague, says:
— Sorry?
— Those kids – Says Patrick – Look at them. That was us once. We used to come here after tripping – Patrick widens his eyes – Remember?
Joe grins, and nods. Patrick returns his gaze to the students. Feeling a small ache inside, Patrick marvels at the youth displayed: the impeccable complexions, the innocent cheekbones, the naively exuberant gestures; the gold Saxon hair of the girls.
—You’re only twenty-nine Patch
— I feel ninety-seven, right now
Joe sighs:
— Well. What do you expect? This morning of mornings?
Hmming, Patrick tips the beer to his lips. The Guinness is cold and very bitter. Patrick remembers how he never liked drinking this early.
— God, it’s too early to drink
Joe looks at him blankly. Then says:
— Shall we go?
Manfully struggling with his pride, and with his desire to get drunk despite, Patrick nods, and rises. Together the two old college friends walk out of the pub into London: into the sweetly polluted summer air. They take a right. Then another. Their route takes them past the meat market, past the place where John Betjeman lived, past the church where they filmed Four Weddings and a Funeral,