The Clumsies Make a Mess of the Seaside

HarperCollins Children’s Books

For David (BWFR!)

Cover

Title Page

Howard Forgets

The Journey

Clumsies-On-Sea PART 1

Clumsies-On-Sea PART 2

Copyright

About the Publisher

It was a Tuesday morning and the Clumsies were sitting around in Howard’s office eating breakfast.

‘I’ve been thinking,’ said Purvis, sipping his tea.

‘Mmm,’ said Mickey Thompson, with a mouth full of toast.

‘Could I have some more toast?’

Purvis put some bread in the toaster.

‘I said I’ve been thinking.’

‘Could I have some more juice?’ asked Mickey Thompson.

Purvis passed him the juice.

‘I said I’ve been…’

‘Could I have… um… an enormous cake?’ asked Mickey Thompson. ‘And a badger.’

There was a small scuffle.

‘Go on then,’ said Mickey Thompson, once they’d finished.

‘Tell us what you’ve been thinking.’

Purvis poured himself another cup of tea.

‘Well,’ he said. ‘I’m worried about Howard.’

‘Why?’ asked Mickey

Thompson, buttering cheerfully.

‘He’s working too hard,’ said Purvis, ‘and he seems to be in a bit of a…’

‘Mood,’ said Mickey Thompson.

‘No,’ said Purvis, ‘in a bit of a…’

‘Mess,’ said Mickey Thompson.

‘Err…’ said Purvis, ‘in a bit of a—’

Suddenly the door Crashed open and Howard rushed in, ran around in a circle and rushed out again.

‘Rush?’ said Mickey Thompson.

‘Exactly,’ said Purvis. ‘He needs a holiday. I’ve been doing loads of research: here!’

He cleared a space and plunked down an old-looking book titled The Wise Traveller; a young-looking book called Flossy Has Fun at the Sea; a brochure headed European River Cruising; and a leaflet advertising Undiscovered Essex.

Mickey Thompson picked up the brochure and studied it.

‘Doesn’t it look lovely?’ said Purvis, ‘I—’

The door crashed open again and Howard rushed back in.

‘QUICK!’ Howard shouted, opening cupboards and drawers.

‘NO!’

‘Sausage?’ offered Purvis.

‘NO!’ shouted Howard, shutting drawers and cupboards.

‘I haven’t got time for breakfast.’

Ortrud the elephant TRUMPETED in alarm.

‘No time for breakfast?’ said Mickey Thompson, sounding shocked.

‘I’M LATE!’ shouted Howard, running about.

‘But Howard,’ said Purvis.

‘You’re the same time as you usually are.’

Howard stopped running.

‘I know, but today I needed to be early. The trouble is, I can’t remember why.’

He sat down with a sigh and the Clumsies dived under the desk.

‘WHAT?’ shouted Howard, leaping up.

‘There’s someone coming,’ whispered Purvis. The door crashed open and in came Mr Bullerton, Howard’s boss.

‘You! Howard Armitage!’ barked Mr Bullerton. ‘You’re late. Where’ve you been?’

‘Err, I—’ began Howard.

‘Be quiet,’ snapped Mr Bullerton.

‘Sorry, I—’

‘And stop interrupting,’ said Mr Bullerton. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Well—’ said Howard.

‘You don’t look anywhere near ready,’ said Mr Bullerton. ‘It starts at one you know. We must catch the eleven o’clock train or we won’t get there on time.’

‘There?’ asked Howard.

Mr Bullerton stared at Howard.

‘You can’t have forgotten. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.’

‘No,’ said Howard.

‘You have, haven’t you?’

‘Yes,’ said Howard.

Mr Bullerton went very red and stuck his face very close to Howard’s ear.

‘CONFERENCE!’ he shouted.

‘Wupf!’ said Howard, jumping.

‘CONFERENCE!

CONFERENCE!

CON. FER.

RENCE!’

‘Oh yes,’ said Howard. ‘Oh dear.’

‘How dare you oh dear?’ said Mr Bullerton.

‘It isn’t oh dear: it’s a Very Important event. In a Very Important place.’

‘Yes of course,’ said Howard, ‘I—’

‘And,’ continued Mr Bullerton, ‘it’s Very, Very Important that it goes extremely well. A lot of Very Important people are going to be there.’

‘Oh?’ said Howard. ‘Who?’

‘ME,’ said Mr Bullerton, ‘and I’ll be watching you, Howard

Armitage, so you’d better make sure you don’t mess anything up this time.’

‘I’ll try not to,’ said Howard.

‘You will if you know what’s good for you,’ said Mr Bullerton.

‘The only thing is…’ said Howard.

Mr Bullerton made a growling noise in his throat.

‘The only thing is, I haven’t made any arrangements for my dog. I’ll have to get him, and bring him.’

‘You most certainly won’t,’ said Mr Bullerton.

‘But I can’t leave Allen at home alone all night,’ said Howard. ‘I’m sure the organisers would understand.’

‘I am the organiser,’ said Mr Bullerton, ‘and I say no dogs are allowed. Especially not yours.’ He stomped out of the room and slammed the door.

Howard sat down with a groan and the Clumsies came out from under the desk.

‘What’s going on, Howard?’ asked Purvis. ‘What’s a conference?’

‘It’s a kind of large meeting,’ said Howard, ‘in a smart hotel by the sea. We’re supposed to go there by train this morning and stay overnight.’

Purvis and Mickey Thompson started squeaking and jumping about.