The Complete Parenting Collection
Australian writer and lecturer Steve Biddulph presents his bestselling parenting guides Raising Boys and Raising Girls, available for the first time in a single eBook-only volume.In the global phenomenon Raising Boys, Steve Biddulph shares and gives practical and honest advice to parents so they can recognise the different stages of boyhood and learn how to raise happy, confident and kind young men. Biddulph has updated his classic book to explore more important topics and to offer parents real-life situations, thought-provoking insights, humour and help.Raising Girls acts as both a guidebook and a call-to-arms for parents. The five key stages of girlhood are laid out so that you know exactly what matters at which age, and how to build strength and connectedness into your daughter from infancy onwards. It is both fierce and tender in its mission to help girls more at every age. It’s a book for parents who love their daughters deeply, whether they are newborns, teenagers, young women – or anywhere in between.
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The Complete Parenting
Collection
Steve Biddulph
Raising Boys
and Steve Biddulph’s Raising Girls
Contents
Raising boys
Why boys are different – and how to help thembecome happy and well-balanced men
Third edition
Steve Biddulph
Illustrations by Paul Stanish
As the twentieth century drew to a close, it was looking bad for boys. Mothers in the labour ward, when told, ‘It’ s a boy!’, groaned ‘Oh no …’
Girls in the 1990s were on the move, going places, focussed and confident, but boys were somehow all wrong – too noisy, too energetic, unmotivated at school, dangerous to themselves and others. And then they turned into – men!
But those of us who worked with families – or who had boys of our own and loved them dearly – knew this wasn’t right. Two vital truths needed to be remembered: that boys were different, in small but important ways; and that by understanding their psychology, the stages of their development, their hormones and their hard-wired nature, we could raise them to be fine young men – safe, caring, passionate and purposeful.
This book you hold in your hands was the first, worldwide, of a slew of boy books, and it helped the world to turn a corner. It was a bestseller in Australia, the UK, Germany, Japan, Brazil and fifteen other countries; but more than that, it was loved, kept by the bedside, dog-eared and much visited. People urged their friends to read it. Women nudged their husbands in bed and said, ‘Listen to this …’
Boys have real dangers in their lives. They are three times more likely than girls to die before the age of 21, and five times more likely to have problems at school. Millions of boys have lessened chances in life because we have failed to understand and love them. But all across the globe things are changing. Recent research has demonstrated that boys have turned around and are now less at risk than ten years ago. We are getting better at raising them.
With this new realisation of boys’ needs – for exercise, for warm relationships with mothers, for fathers and other good men in their lives to be active and engaged, for schools that know how to teach in boy-friendly ways – we can now go much further. We can raise a generation of boys that are happier, more alive, more connected to the human race, just in time for a world that so badly needs good men.
Boys are fun. They make you laugh. They are full of life, and can share that energy with you. They speak from the heart and are forgiving. So I have tried to put all those qualities into this book. Whether your son is a tiny baby, a young schoolboy, or a teenager surging with hormones and hopes, this book is for you. I hope you like it.
And I hope that if, one day, your daughter has a baby son, she will say, ‘Wow, that’s fantastic!’
Steve Biddulph
Tasmania, 2008
www.stevebiddulph.com
Last night I drove into town for a meeting, or at least tried to, and the situation with young men was once again thrust into my face. Three cars ahead of me, the Pacific Highway was blocked. A car driven by a teenage boy, with four friends as passengers, had attempted to pull out into the traffic, but miscalculated. A truck coming up behind had hit the car and carried it 50 metres along the road, badly crushing it in the impact. Soon the emergency vehicles arrived: fire, police, ambulance. Men worked in teams, calmly but rapidly dealing with the situation.
The young driver was gradually cut out of the wreck unconscious. His four male passengers had varying injuries, some serious. An older woman, perhaps the mother of one of the boys, came running from a nearby farm. A policeman gently comforted her.
Maleness was everywhere – inexperience and risk on the one side; competence, caring and steadiness on the other.
It kind of summed up for me the male situation. Men, when they turn out well, are wonderful – selfless, heroic, hardworking. But being young and male is so vulnerable, so prone to disaster. When we see a boy born these days, we can’t help wondering – how will he turn out?
Boys at risk
Thirty years ago, it was girls that everyone worried about. Across the world, a huge and spirited effort was mounted to raise the horizons of girls, to give them confidence that they could do anything they wanted with their lives, and to demolish the barriers to their achievement. And it’s working: today it’s the girls who are more sure of themselves, motivated and capable. More girls finish school, more girls go to university, and they get better marks.
Parents of daughters often find that their girls are focussed, clear-headed, and know where they are going. Boys, by comparison, often don’t have a clue. They seem to be adrift in life, failing at school, awkward in relationships, at risk for violence, alcohol and drugs.
