First published in Great Britain in hardback by HarperCollins Childrenâs Books in 2004 First published in Great Britain in paperback by HarperCollins Childrenâs Books in 2005
HarperCollins Childrenâs Books A division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd, 1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk
Find out more about Georgia atwww.georgianicolson.com
Copyright © Louise Rennison 2004
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of the work.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.
Source ISBN: 9780007183203
Ebook Edition © OCTOBER 2010 ISBN: 9780007402731
Version: 2015-01-27
A Note from Georgia
Dear Chumettes,
Bonsoir!!! I am writing to you from my âimagination denâ (or my bed as some people call it), just to say how much I hope you like ââ¦and thatâs when it fell off in my hand.â Interestingly, the Hamburger-a-gogo types (who I suspect may be a button short of a cardigan) called my book âAway Laughing on a Fast Camelâ. They said that ââ¦and thatâs when it fell off in my hand.â sounds too rude.
They are indeed weird, but what you have to take into account is that they donât really speak English as such. For instance âfagâ only means homosexualist in their land. It doesnât mean cigarette. So when I wrote that âAlison Bummer lit up a fagâ, they said they thought that was âkind of cruelâ because they thought she was setting fire to a gay person. I think that illustrates what I am up against.
Anyway, my little chums, I have spent many happy minutes⦠er⦠hours writing this and there were a lot of other things I could have been doing, believe me. Juan and Carlos - my imaginary maidservants - could have spent time amusing me, but I said (in my mind), âNo, Juan and Carlos! Put down your guitars! Stop plucking! I must write another book for my lovely fans.â
That is how much I love you all.
A LOT.
I do.
I am not exaggerating.
I LOVE YOU ALL.
Georgia, XXXXXXX
p.s. But I am not on the turn.
Grey skies, grey cluds, grey knickers.
I canât believe my knickers are grey, but it is typico of my life. My mutti put my white lacy knickers in the wash with Vatiâs voluminous black shorts and now they are grey.
If there was a medal for craposity in the mutti department, she would win it hands down.
I am once again wandering lonely as a clud through this Vale of Tears.
I wish there was someone I could duff up but I have no one to blame. Except God, and although He is everywhere at once, He is also invisible. (Also, the last person who tried to duff God up was Satan, and he ended up standing on his head in poo with hot swords up his bum-oley.)
This is my fabulous life: the Sex God left for Whakatane last month and he has taken my heart with him.
Not literally, of course, otherwise there would be a big hole in my nunga-nungas.
And also I would be dead. Which quite frankly would be a blessing in disguise.
It is soooo boring being brokenhearted. My eyes look like little piggie eyes from crying. Which makes my nose look ginormous.
Still, at least I am a lurker-free zone. Although with my luck there will be a lurker explosion any minute.
Alison Bummer once had a double yolker on her neck; she had a big spot and it had a baby spot growing on top of it.
Iâll probably get that.
Phoned my very bestest pally, Jas.
âJas, itâs me.â
âWhat?â
âJas, you donât sound very pleased to hear from me.â
âWell⦠I would be, but itâs only five minutes since you last phoned and Tom is just telling me about this thing you can do. You go off into the forest andââ
âThis hasnât got anything to do with badgers, has it?â
âWell⦠no, not exactly, itâs a wilderness course and you learn how to make fire and so on.â