Elam wasnât sure he would ever be ready to trust his heart to someone again.
If that time did come, it would be only with a woman he was certain shared his love of God and his Plain faith.
âOnce burned, twice shy,â he confided to his tiny listener, Katieâs newborn daughter, nestled in the crook of his arm.
He waited for the anger to surface, but it didnât. For the first time in over a year he was able to think about his broken engagement without bitterness. Maybe the sweet-smelling babe in his arms had brought with her a measure of Godâs peace for him. To her, life was new and good and shouldnât be tainted with the sins of the past.
He began to sing a soft lullaby. Baby Rachel stared back at him intently for a few minutes, but she eventually grew discontented with his voice and the fingers she couldnât quite get into her mouth. Her little fussing noises became a full-fledged cry.
âI guess I canât fix what ails you after all. I reckon Iâll have to wake your mother.â
âIâm awake.â Katieâs low voice came from the bed.
He looked over to find her watching him with dark eyes as beautiful and intense as her daughterâs. How long had she been listening to him?
âLady, you sure this is where you wanna get out?â The middle-aged bus driver tipped his hat back and regarded his passenger with worry-filled eyes.
âThis is the place.â Katie Lantz glanced from his concerned face to the desolate winter landscape beyond the windshield. A chill that owed nothing to the weather crawled over her skin.
It was her destination, but rural Ohio was the last place in the world she wanted to be. She had agonized over her decision for weeks. Now that she was here, the same worries that had robbed her of sleep for endless nights cartwheeled through her mind.
Would her brother take her in? What if Malachi turned her away? What would she do then? If he did allow her to return to his home would she ever find the strength to leave again?
âIt donât feel right leaving a gal in your condition out here alone. You sure I canât take ya into town?â
âIâm sure.â She pressed a protective hand to her midsection. Her condition was the only reason she was here. She didnât want to get off the bus, but what choice did she have?
None.
All her plans, her dreams and her hopes had turned to ashes. She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. âIâd just have to walk back if I went into Hope Springs. Thank you for letting me off. I know you arenât supposed to make unscheduled stops.â
The driver pulled the lever to open the doors with obvious reluctance. âI donât make a habit of it, but I figured it was best not to argue with a gal thatâs as pregnant as you are.â
A gust of wintry wind swirled in, raking Katieâs face with icy fingers. A tremor raced through her body. She turned up the collar of her red plaid coat, prolonging the moment she would have to actually step out of the bus and back into the life she dreaded.
The driver seemed to sense her unwillingness to leave. âIs someone meeting you?â
She hadnât bothered to write that she was coming. Her previous letters had all been returned unopened. Proof, if she needed any, that her family hadnât forgiven her for turning her back on her Amish heritage.
She lifted her chin.
I donât have to do this. I can stay on the bus and go to the next town.
And then what?
As quickly as her bravado appeared it evaporated. She closed her eyes. Her shoulders slumped in defeat.
All she had in her pocket was twelve dollars. All she owned was in the suitcase she clutched. It wasnât enough, not with her baby due in three weeks. For her childâs sake, returning home was her only option.
For now.
Clinging to that faint echo of resolve, she drew a steadying breath, opened her eyes and faced her bleak future. âMy brotherâs farm is just over the hill. Itâs not far. Iâll be fine.â
Oh, how she hoped her words would prove true.
She didnât belong in this Amish world. She had escaped it once before. She would do so again. It would be harder with a baby, but she would find a way.