First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Childrenâs Books in 2016
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Nathalia Buttface and the Embarrassing Camp Catastrophe
Text copyright © Nigel Smith, 2016
Illustrations copyright © Sarah Horne, 2016
Cover illustration © Sarah Horne
Nigel Smith and Sarah Horne assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
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Source ISBN: 9780008167127
Ebook Edition © 2016 ISBN: 9780008167134
Version: 2016-07-07
âAnd the winner is⦠Darius Bagley!â
THE Darius Bagley?
There was a stunned silence as the Head read out the shocking result to the whole school at assembly. It didnât just shock the school; it shocked her too.
The Head frowned and rubbed her glasses, peering at the envelope she had just opened. She must have read it wrong. But no â there it was in black and white.
Darius Bagley a winner? In an essay-writing competition?
âEssays? I didnât even know he could write,â Miss Eyre whispered nastily to her equally nasty pal Miss Austen, standing at the back of the hall. She made sure that she whispered it just loud enough for everyone to hear.
âHe canât, much,â said Nat to Penny Posnitch. âI wrote it for him. In fact, I spent so long writing HIS rubbish essay, I didnât have time to finish MY rubbish essay. The little cheaty chimp.â
âYou only wrote his essay because you owed him loads of favours â heâs done every single one of your maths tests,â giggled Penny. âYouâre just as big a cheat.â
âThatâs different,â muttered Nat, kicking at the floor.
âAND you told me you wrote it as a big joke,â added Penny.
âIt was a big joke. But, as usual, the jokeâs on me,â said Nat sulkily. âI should be getting MY name read out on stage, not that tiny monster.â
âHeâs won a prize,â shouted the Head, continuing to read her letter, âan actual prize!â
âSO not fair,â said Nat.
âWhere is Darius Bagley anyway?â said the Head. âCome up here now and collect your prize so we can get this over with.â
âHe canât come up, Miss,â shouted Nat. âHeâs sitting outside your office.â
âOh, surely he canât be in detention already,â said the Head. âItâs not even nine oâclock yet.â
âHe says it saves time, Miss,â said Nat.
âIâll get him,â said his 8H form teacher, Miss Hunny, chuckling.
A minute or so later, Darius trotted in, wearing his usual ripped blazer, torn jumper, grey-collared shirt, and egg-stained tie. He hopped on to the stage.
âHELLOOO, LOSERS!â he yelled, like a rock star saying hello to ten thousand fans.
Unlike a rock star in front of ten thousand fans, he got a lot of booing. A few scrunched-up crisp packets and a plastic pop-bottle whizzed towards him.
âWhatâs my prize?â Darius asked the Head. âIs it sweets, a dog or an air rifle?â
âItâs better than any of those,â said the Head. âItâs a book token.â
âYou keep it,â said Darius, walking away without the token.
The school â including the teachers â burst out laughing.
The Head shouted crossly for silence. She grabbed Darius and thrust the token into his hands.
Darius turned away, skilfully making the token into a paper aeroplane as he went.
âWait. I havenât finished with you yet,â she said.
Darius stopped walking, plonked himself down on the edge of the stage and dangled his legs over it.