Nathalia Buttface and the Most Embarrassing Five Minutes of Fame Ever
The most embarrassing dad in the world is back in this hilarious series for girls from TV and radio-comedy writing talent, Nigel Smith.When Dad posts an embarrassing video of Nat online as a joke, she’s furious. Things are set to get much worse, however, when the video goes viral and she finds herself centre of the nation’s attention for all the wrong reasons – even the prime minister is imitating her!But when a local care home for abandoned pets is threatened with closure, Dad convinces Nat to use her new-found celebrity to raise money for it – with him acting as her agent, of course! Cue: a disastrous appearance hair-modelling job, a not-so-glamorous campaign for a local optician and a call to turn on the town’s rubbish autumn illuminations (the one with the miserable face off The X-Factor cancelled at the last minute). And as if Nat didn’t have enough to deal with, school isn’t exactly easy when you’re a minor celebrity…
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First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Childrenâs Books in 2015
HarperCollins Childrenâs Books is a division of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd,
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
Nathalia Buttface and the Most Embarrassing Five Minutes of Fame Ever
Text copyright © Nigel Smith, 2015
Illustrations copyright © Sarah Horne, 2015
Cover art © Sarah Horne, 2015
Nigel Smith and Sarah Horne assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780007545254
Ebook Edition © 2015 ISBN: 9780007545261
Version: 2015-06-05
To Carole, because without her Iâd just be an embarrassing dad without a book.
And thank you to Nicola, because without her I wouldnât have a title for this book. Which would be embarrassing.
Contents
Copyright
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
About the Author
Also by the Author
About the Publisher
âIâm not an idiot,â said Nat. âIâm not my dad.â
âWill you hurry up? My arms are getting tired,â complained Darius.
âJust hold the camera straight and press the record button when I tell you,â snapped Nat.
The three of them were in Natâs back garden. It was a lovely warm afternoon at the end of the school holidays. The sun was shining, the flowers were out, Dad was upstairs trying to write Christmas cracker jokes and shouting rude words at his laptop, and the three friends were making a dance video.
The dance video was going very badly.
And so was Dadâs joke writing; every so often they would hear him yell: âOh heck, thatâs not funny. Iâm doomed â¦â
âI wonder if he needs a hand,â said Darius, putting the camera down. âIâve got a great joke about a monkey who needs to go to the toilet.â
âThe âmonkey who needs to go to the toiletâ joke is not a joke anyone wants in their cracker while theyâre eating their Christmas pudding,â said Nat. âCan we please do our dance video?â
âI want to hear the monkey joke,â said Penny.
Nat started hopping up and down. âIâve been trying to make this video all morning,â she shouted. âWill you both CONCENTRATE.â
âI only came round to show Nathalia the new Dinky Blue, Girl Guru episode online,â grumbled Penny. âAnd now Iâve been roped into this.â
âSheâs rubbish,â said Darius, making sick noises. âYou should watch Doom Ninja Pete instead. He blew up a pig last week.â
âThatâs disgusting,â said Penny, who was an animal lover.
Darius started doing his impression of a pig blowing up in slow motion, until Nat ran over and started throttling him.
âPick-up-the-camera-and-film-us-doing-the-dance â¦â
âOK,â he squawked.
âPlay the song on the phone, Penny.â
âI canât remember the dance move after the song goes: âBaby baby oooh babyâ,â said Penny.
âWhich âBaby baby oooh babyâ?â asked Nat. âShe sings âBaby baby oooh babyâ about a ZILLION times. The song is CALLED âBaby baby oooh babyâ.â
âEr â the first time,â said Penny.
âThatâs the START of the song,â shouted Nat in frustration. âIâve shown you the moves about a thousand million billion times at least and Iâm not even exaggerating. What is the matter with you? Itâs step left, arms cross, turn, arms up, bend, slide and wiggle. Got it?â
âYouâre not a very good dance teacher,â said Penny sulkily. âYouâre always shouting.â
âThatâs how good dance teachers teach dance,â shouted Nat.
