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First published in Great Britain by Harper 2017
Copyright © Jennifer M Voorhees 2017
Cover design by Studio Takoma/Zoe Norvell © HarperCollinsPublishers 2017
Cover photograph © Deborah Kolb/ImageBrief
Cover image © Alamy (detail)
Jennifer M Voorhees asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the authorâs imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9780008116330
Ebook Edition © February 2017 ISBN: 9780008116347
Version: 2017-10-27
Dedicated to Elma Mae Bruce.
I am a changed person because your story and my story intersected, no matter how brief that chapter may have been. Your support as a reader meant the world to me as an author, but the impact you had on me as a person ⦠well, that is unforgettable, and I will be forever grateful that I was able to share both your triumphs and disappointments as you fought the good fight. It is true what they say ⦠not all heroes wear capes.
We are all going to leave a legacy behind us when we go. Be it big or small, I hope that all of us take a moment, a minute, a split second to invest in making sure the one that we are building is one that we can be proud of, one that makes others smile and think fondly of us, because itâs so easy to forget the good when the bad seems to always out front and center. Leave the lives you touch better off for having had you in them.
Also FUCK YOU, cancer ⦠you are literally the worst and weâre all pretty sick of your shit.
If youâre going through hell, keep going.
âWinston Churchill
So Iâm sure itâs no surprise that I consider myself kind of a badass (on occasion at least). Not much fazes me. Iâm pretty willing and able to roll with the punches and Iâve always been a âtake the bull by the horns and make him your bitchâ kind of gal. That being said there are things that are bigger and badder than me, things that scare the ever-living stuffing out of me and I really didnât stop to think about how I handled the fear, or rather didnât handle it, until I started working on this book.
If you follow me on social media at all Iâm sure you know I have three dogs that Iâm obsessed with. They are my best furry friends and my family. I love them unconditionally and fiercely. The boy Italian greyhound, Duce, (I know, I know, it isnât spelled right, but even before writing books I was doing weird stuff with names) is getting older and last year he got sick ⦠and I mean really sick. It was terrifying. It was heartbreaking and I handled it like shit. I broke down and turned into a tantrum-throwing idiot, which helped my dog and the situation zero percent. Quite frankly I didnât know what to do or how to help him and that lack of control, no matter how much money I threw at the problem, turned me into a lunatic. I was terrified that I was going to lose him even though logically I knew he couldnât stick around forever.
Eventually I got him to an amazing veterinarian ⦠shout-out to Northwest Animal Hospital here in Colorado Springs and Doctor Sudduth, who took great care of him, got him diagnosed, and promised that it wasnât his time to go yet. Duce is still old, still sickly, but heâs on meds and kicking right along. The last year was a struggle but we spent it together at home for the most part, which means I owe my readers and everyone that supports my books even more than you will ever know.
None of it changes the fact that Iâm eventually going to have to say good-bye.
It still scares me. It makes me tear up even thinking about it. Itâs going to be one of the hardest things Iâm ever going to have to do ⦠but writing this book ⦠focusing on how Church handles love and loss, how we have this stoic, tough-as-nails soldier that has been through hell and back, but has things bigger and badder than he is that he canât get out from underneath, was eye-opening. No matter what kind of armor we wear, all of it has a chink, a dent that speaks to a battle we fought and lost.