Once, after looking at the «Black Square», Vasily Petrovich Lomakin decided to relax and meditate alone: what is the most important thing in life when people are scared of coronavirus from everywhere? You have to ask yourself this question when you have everything – both a university diploma and parliamentary immunity. The immersion session started in the thinking room of Vasya’s mansion, more precisely, the thinking room was located in the sauna. Where it is warm and quiet, and, most importantly, without female temptation, so as not to distract with their charms, because concentration and detachment are the first and necessary condition! And, secondly, to have a table with hot sausages and vodka next to it – and what’s the big deal, and what’s the big deal? This is just not superfluous! Lomakin respects the poetic creativity of Andrei Makarevich, the author of the text of the popular song «For those who are at Sea», especially since this topic was methodologically close and understandable to Vasily. The bard retired, took a bottle of cognac and began to write different words under a glass… It turns out that everything is ingenious, you need to have in your pocket at one time only eight rubles twelve kopecks for three stars. If he’s not lying, of course. And if vodka is the equivalent of cognac in the sense of the possibility of meeting the Muse.
– But the last thesis needs to be tested experimentally, – Vasily decided. There was a pause, so necessary in a bold experiment.
– No, he’s not lying – Vasya unequivocally confirmed after the first one, feeling familiar movements in the skull. – And it looks like the equivalent.
The problem ceased to be abstract and even began to acquire some elusive tangibility. To remove this logical contradiction, he had to bite the second one. It became stuffy, Lomakin loosened his tie and unbuttoned his jacket by one button, but no more – the position obliges even in the sauna. The process went on, and Vasily quietly began right from the chorus:
– I drink to the bottom, for those who are in the sea.., – after chewing a cucumber, he boldly developed the topic and reached the main idea, – Ta-ram, pam-pam -pam, ta-ram, pam-pam -pam!
The right rhythm was found, things were getting better, the creative process was activated, even the face turned red. He’s brainstorming! Oh, how the linguist Lomakin hated this word, all these Anglicisms are cursed, but there’s nothing to be done: the method is the method. Or maybe it’s easier to express in Russian: brainstorming? And then the thought suddenly twisted: and on the other hand, well, how to replace the concept of «dollar», well, not the ruble? This sudden, sinful, obviously unpatriotic maxim distracted Petrovich from the main route of his neural brain communication, thin associative connections were torn… That’s the devil, his machinations! Immediately it became somehow uncomfortable, the euphoria disappeared. There was a causeless, panic fear, because the installation was lowered: we’re getting rid of the dollar! Well, have you forgotten, or something… Lomakin sagged slightly and automatically loosened the belt on his trousers – just in case… Vasily’s right hand suddenly treacherously reached for the bottle, realizing the subconscious reflex of supermen – the desire to add, but the left hand, which was still obeying reason, stopped her halfway to the cherished goal. It was necessary to get out of the stupor urgently, and, fortunately, a wise thought sounded again somewhere in the convolutions:
– Treat like with like!
Yes, that’s right, a song is a song, – Vasily agreed with Professor Woland, although he did not understand the essence of his saying, and again began, but with pathos:
– Where does the Motherland begin? From the picture in your primer…
Just in case, he finished to the last line, trying to somehow rehabilitate himself, and, if possible, heartfelt, like Mark Bernes. True, Vasily’s voice did not differ in strength and overtones, but a subtle soul, he sang with it… She, my dear, suddenly trembled, unable to withstand the depth of emotions inherent in the melody and simple words understandable to every Russian, and burst into tears. And then Vasily’s right hand got out of control again and splashed half a glass at once. He had to drink, to fill his soul with something…
Well, and then? And what’s next is next as always. In general, shameless women dreamed at night, the next day the fool buzzed decently, he had to polish with beer and take a sabbatical from himself for one day.
