The Rules for Marriage
Time-tested secrets that will make your marriage work and keep him keen forever.From the bestselling authors of The Rules.The Rules helped single women find their man. Now you’ve found the perfect partner Rules advice will ensure you manage your man and stay happy, together.Following the phenomenal success of The Rules comes The Rules For Marriage – long term relationship advice that really works.'Happy ever after' does exist, you just have to work a little to make it happen. This practical, no nonsense guide reveals the new Rules for the no-longer single woman. Advice on every aspect of marriage helps readers get from white wedding to golden anniversary.Say what you mean, but don't say it mean• Don't find fault with things you knew about when you married him.• Keep your own interests – have a life!• Don’t ask single friends for marital advice.
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The Rules for Marriage
TIME-TESTED SECRETS FOR
MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE WORK
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
Contents
Rule 1 Relax during the Engagement and Wedding
Rule 2 Continue to Be ‘a Creature Unlike Any Other’
Rule 4 Lower Your Expectations in the First Year
Rule 6 Accept that Some Things Are None of Your Business
Rule 9 Don’t Ask Your Single Friends for Marital Advice
Rule 10 Try Not to Call Him Too Much at Work
Rule 11 Don’t Expect a Lot of Sympathy from Him
Rule 12 Give Him 15 Minutes Alone When He Comes Home
Rule 13 Don’t Use the ‘D’ Word
Rule 14 Don’t Engage – and Other Rules for Rows
Rule 15 Say What You Mean, in the Nicest Possible Way
Rule 16 To Compare Is to Despair – Don’t Compare Him to Other Husbands
Rule 17 Have a Family Dinner at Least Once a Week
Rule 19 Don’t Force Him to ‘Talk’
Rule 20 Don’t Hang on His Every Word
Rule 21 Do Things You Don’t Want to Do
Rule 22 Rarely Return His Gifts
Rule 23 He Can Say Anything about His Family – But You Can’t
Rule 24 Don’t Try to Do It All
Rule 27 Listen to His Advice and Try to Appreciate It
Rule 28 Make Him Feel Like the Most Important Person in Your Life
Rule 30 Don’t Complain about the Kids
Rule 32 Don’t Expect Applause for Doing Chores
Rule 34 Don’t Find Fault with Things You Knew about When You Married Him
Rule 35 It’s Easier to Stay Married than Get Married
Rule 36 Don’t Be Surprised If Your Husband Lies
Rule 37 Don’t Go Changing or Trying Too Hard
Rule 38 Realize that Your Marriage Is Over If He Cheats Even Once
Rule 39 Don’t Think Marriage Guidance Is the Answer
Rule 41 Date Again as Soon as Poss
More Rules from Happily Married Women
Have you ever wondered why some women are happily married while others are not, why some are content and others are constantly rowing with their spouse and feeling miserable?
The truth is, marriage isn’t easy. If it were, 50 percent of marriages wouldn’t end in divorce.
Why are some marriages less successful than others?
Success takes work. You might not want to hear this, but no one wanted to believe you had to work to get a man to propose either – before The Rules … and let’s face it, you do. So if you are willing to work hard to get a man, we think you’ll agree it’s worth some effort to keep him.
That’s why we came up with The Rules for Marriage.
Do any of these problems sound familiar?
‘When we were dating, we did interesting things all the time. Now that we’re married, his idea of fun is sitting on the sofa, eating crisps and watching telly.’
‘I want children now. He wants to wait a few years.’
‘His ex-wife still calls every once in a while and sends him birthday cards. When will this stop?’
‘He’d rather sit at the computer than have sex.’
‘I love him, but not his parents.’
‘I resent the fact that I make more money than him.’
These are problems many of our readers have shared with us, so we’ve done a great deal of research on how to solve them – in some cases, by avoiding them in the first place. The Rules for Marriage gives you answers to these problems and more.
When we wrote The Rules in 1995, we studied what worked and what didn’t in dating. We noticed that women who acted ‘hard to get’ got their man, while women who were too available or eager got hurt. We compiled 35 rules that helped women to be more of a challenge to men, such as ‘Don’t talk to a man first’ and ‘End the date first.’ As difficult as these rules were to do, they only had to be followed strictly for the first three or four months of a relationship. In many cases it was best to do them until the man proposed – after that time, once he was committed to you and the relationship, you didn’t have to carry on with them.
Marriage, on the other hand, is long term. So The Rules for Marriage, while certainly not as strict as The Rules for dating, must be a way of life. The Rules for dating are like a short-term diet – just as you skip dessert for a few months so you can fit into your swimming costume for the summer, we advised you to act mysterious and not have sex with Mr Right for a few months to make him fall in love with you. The Rules for Marriage, however, are like a life-long maintenance plan. Anybody can lose a stone, but how many keep it off? Lots of women know how to catch a man, but how many stay happily married?
So our focus here is not on getting a man, but keeping him. This means doing what it takes to make him happy. This can be as basic as making him feel important, being considerate, a team player, and it can also mean doing a bit extra – making a conscious effort not to nag, for example, or taking the time to be supportive of his ideas. All of this requires work
