Unqualified
Since October 2015, a whole lot of people have been getting relationship advice from a very well-intentioned but untrained source — actress Anna Faris — on her ridiculously popular podcast, Unqualified.Anna’s own personal life was messy, even while her career soared as the lead in the Scary Movie franchise, and as the star of the CBS comedy, MOM. She started Unqualified as something gone-a-goof, but the podcast is already getting 1.5 million downloads a month, and is consistently one of the most popular out there.Now, working with collaborator Rachel Bertsche, she is telling all in her first book UNQUALIFIED. Unable to find an ex who would spill the beans, Chris has graciously agreed to write the introduction.
Читать Unqualified онлайн беплатно
ANNA FARIS is an actress, producer, and top-rated podcaster: Her podcast, Anna Faris is Unqualified, averages four million downloads a month. Faris currently stars on the CBS hit comedy Mom and has had memorable roles on Entourage and Friends. She will next star in MGM/Pantelion Film’s remake of Overboard alongside Eugenio Derbez. Faris produced and starred in The House Bunny and What’s Your Number?, and her additional films include the Scary Movie franchise, Lost in Translation, The Dictator, Observe and Report, Brokeback Mountain, Just Friends, Smiley Face, Keanu, and the Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs franchise. A native of Washington State, she lives in Los Angeles with her family.
To Chris.
Your wisdom and strength have made me a better person.
CONTENTS
By Chris Pratt
When I was asked to write the forward for Unqualified, Anna’s memoir, I immediately said yes without even thinking about it. And boy did a lot happen between then and now.
So much.
Like … soooo much.
So. Allow me to start by asking some questions:
First and foremost: What is a forward? Like, you know? What is it? Is a forward an anecdote? Like that time Anna and I went to the Beverly Hills library and I told her it was the first time I’d ever been in a library and then she looked at me like I must be joking? And I pretended I was joking? And boy did we laugh. But I wasn’t joking? Is that a forward?
I don’t really read books all that much. I mean, I know how to read, as in sounding out words and phrases, sentences, and the like. I can spell, too! I’ll stop now. I feel like I’m bragging. But let’s just say books aren’t really my specialty. Per se.
I do read a lot of screenplays.
May I paint you a forward in screenplay format?
Fade in.
Int. Bedroom. Night. Chris Pratt (early twenties, roguishly handsome) stares blankly at his phone. He blinks a couple of times.
| Chris: | Siri. How do you write a forward? |
| Siri: | Searching: How to go right and forward. |
| Chris: | NO, STUPID! Siri. What is the definition of forward? |
| Siri: | Searching: What is the definition of forewarn? |
| Chris: | NO! Siri! Give me FORWARD definition. |
| Siri: | Searching: Give me forearm definition. |
| Chris: | Umm … Yeah. Show me that. |
Distracted, Chris begins watching forearm workout videos for several hours.
Fade out.
Credits roll.
Thunderous applause. Oscar nom Best Short Film. #blessed
Okay … Back to it.
Crickets.
Stares at phone.
Literally googles the word forward.
Wow … Okay. So … it’s actually spelled FOREWORD. With an O and an E. Who knew? Siri did. Of course. We’ve been through a lot, she and I.
Anyhow, lesson learned. Now, let’s move FOREWORD and discuss someone else with whom I’ve been through a lot.
My Foreword
By Chris Pratt
Anna is an important part of my life and she always will be. She asked me to write this foreword. And I’m doing so because I love and respect her and told her I would.
She and I have a striking number of similarities.
We were both raised in Washington State, just twenty minutes from each other. (Coincidentally, we didn’t meet until working together in LA.) I played football on her high school field, a fact I’ve pointed out every single time we’ve driven past that school in ten years, to which, every time, she reacts with a gracious amount of faux wonder, kind sweetheart. We’re both actors who made it in Hollywood, being cast as intelligently played idiots: me, Andy Dwyer; her, Cindy Campbell. We both have scars on our left hands, the results of drunken accidents that left us with nerve damage. We each had dead-bug collections before meeting. And even though they’re not the same, Linda Goodman, author of
