Head Kid
From the million-copy bestselling author of THE PARENT AGENCY and BIRTHDAY BOY comes a wildly entertaining wish-fulfilment adventure that asks the question: what would happen if the strictest head teacher swapped bodies with the naughtiest kid in school?Strictest head ÷ naughtiest boy = chaos.Bracket Wood is about to be visited by the school inspectors. But there’s one big problem: Ryan Ward.The maestro of practical jokes, Ryan has played so many tricks that in the end the Head Teacher just walks out. And then the new Head Teacher, Mr Carter, arrives. A man so strict even the teachers are scared of him. So imagine his surprise – and Ryan’s – when they swap bodies.Now Ryan is Head Teacher – and his mortal enemy is one of his pupils. It’s every naughty kid’s dream!But soon Bracket Wood School is in a total mess – and only its worst ever pupil can fix it…
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First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s
Books in 2018
Published in this ebook edition in 2018
HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of
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Text copyright © David Baddiel 2018
Cover and interior illustrations copyright © Steven Lenton 2018
Cover design © HarperCollins Children’s Books
David Baddiel and Steven Lenton assert the moral right to be identified as the author and illustrator of the work respectively.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook onscreen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
Source ISBN: 9780008200527
Ebook Edition © September 2018 ISBN: 9780008200541
Version: 2018-08-21
To Enzo, for the idea
Contents
Chapter 2. A Prince Among Pranksters
Chapter 5. What I Propose To Do
Chapter 8. The Naughtiest Boy in the School
Chapter 10. Benny and Bjorn(ita)
Chapter 12. Even More Frightening
Chapter 13. Take Your Pants Back
Chapter 14. Mr Bum Bum Bummington
Chapter 15. AAAAARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
Chapter 19. A Bracketwood Flashmob
Chapter 21. Meowing Like a Cat
Chapter 22. Time for the Next Lesson
Chapter 23. The How to Be a Head Teacher Handbook
Chapter 24. My Name Isn’t Doreen
Chapter 25. OH! HEADMASTER CAR-TER!
Chapter 26. This is Getting Weird
Chapter 27. All Fourteen Varieties
Chapter 30. BRRASSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOO
Chapter 31. A Message For Mr Carter
Chapter 40. A Bit of a Problem
Chapter 44. Stupid Old Oakcroft
Chapter 47. A Very Strong Word
Bracket Wood School had never, since it was opened all the way back in 1983, received an OFFHEAD ranking of Outstanding. Nor had it received one of Good. There was a very brief golden period, in the early 90s, when it received one of Satisfactory. But then that was found to have been a mistake – the inspector had ticked the wrong box, for which he himself got marked down to Not As Good As We Thought – and it went back to its usual ranking: Inadequate.
It was, in fact, a running joke in the OFFHEAD offices – not a place where you’d have thought there’d be much joking, but at least on the subject of Bracket Wood you’d be wrong – that one day they might have to create a new ranking for this particular school: Rubbish.
This was a problem for Bracket Wood because OFFHEAD, as I’m sure you all know, is a government organisation which checks that schools aren’t rubbish. Parents, as you also might know, pay a lot of attention to their reports. Some parents, in fact, spend far too much of their time reading OFFHEAD reports, and discussing them with their friends who are also parents, and worrying all the time about which school to send their children to, based on OFFHEAD reports. Some parents worry about this so much they ruin their child’s childhood. But that’s another story.
This story begins with the staff and governors and parents and even some of the pupils at Bracket Wood in something of a panic. Because OFFHEAD was coming. In a month’s time. Which was even more worrying than usual. For two reasons:
1 Bracket Wood Council, Education Department, had announced, on hearing that OFFHEAD was coming again, that if the school got another Inadequate rating it might be time to think about closing the place down, and …
2 Ryan Ward.
“Right, Six B!” said Mr Barrington, moving the TV monitor into place on top of his desk. “It’s good news. Today we are going to watch a TV For Schools documentary.”
A groan went up from the class.
