Watch me, watch me, watch me!
Cool huh? I am Kenny, fantastic gymnastic! Did you see how I went straight from those cartwheels into a walkover-handstand combo? Wicked or what? Iâll show you how to do it later if you want, but whatever you do, donât tell Fliss, OK? She thinks sheâs queen of the gymnastics scene, and once you get her started sheâll show you her full repertoire of moves and youâll be there for days!
I guess when you think of gymnasts, you usually think of someone like Fliss, donât you? You know, all petite and bendy. You certainly wouldnât think of the rest of the Sleepover Club, thatâs for sure. I mean, Frankie is good at lots of sports, but petite she ainât! Sheâs shooting up so fast that sheâs about as tall as King Kong now (though not as hairy!). Rosieâs actually not bad at cartwheels and stuff, itâs just that sheâs not completely confident in herself. So after every move, she stops to check that her leotard hasnât ridden up her bottom. And Lyndz, hmm â what can I say? Gymnastics and Lyndz just donât mix!
And me? Well, Iâll give anything a go once. And although Iâm too much of a tomboy to look all neat and tidy, I am pretty hot when it comes to the old gymnastic moves, even if I say so myself. (In fact I used to go to a gymnastics club, but Mum said I had to pack it in because I never had time to do my homework.)
So whatâs with all this gymnastic talk anyway, I hear you ask? Well, my little friend, youâd better sit down and make yourself comfortable because I have one wicked tale to tell. And itâs not just about gymnastics either. Oh no. Itâs also about â and Iâm going to whisper this next bit in case youâre of a nervous disposition â SATs. You know exactly what Iâm talking about, right? Those yucky, pukey, stupid tests that some cruel person devised as a form of torture for us poor children.
Weâve known since about Year One that this particular set of SATs was coming up, and Fliss has been panicking about them for just as long. You just have to mention the food chain, or percentages, and her eyes glaze over like youâre talking a foreign language. Sheâs been attending extra revision lessons with Lyndz and Rosie so they can push their scores up to the next level in the tests. I think itâs just a question of giving them confidence really, and thatâs something Frankie and I certainly donât lack. Itâs not that weâre brainboxes or swotty or anything. (Swotty? Me? Per-lease!) Itâs just that we donât get all jittery when we take tests. We go in there, do our stuff and come out again. Sorted!
Well, thatâs the theory anyway. This time it all went badly wrong. And by the time the SATs came round we were all under pressure â Big Time!
So you want to know how gymnastics came to be muddled up with SATs, do you? I guess Iâd better start at the beginning, then.
OK, there were a few weeks to go before we sat the dreaded tests and all we seemed to hear was âSATs thisâ and âSATs thatâ. We went over and over and over fractions and reading comprehension at school. Then weâd have to do revision on the solar system or something for homework. It was enough to make a girl reach for a jumbo-sized bag of Maltesers, I know that much. And if I remember rightly, thatâs exactly what I was doing when I saw the programme which just about changed our lives.
I went into the lounge and the local news was blaring out of the TV â yuckarama! That was so not what I needed to chill out with after all my hard work. But Mum and Dad were engrossed in it as usual so there was no way that I could turn it over to The Simpsons.
âDonât tell us youâre actually going to sit down and watch this with us!â Mum looked shocked and pretended to faint.
âNo way!â I mumbled. âWho wants to see all that boring stuff? If I wanted to depress myself Iâd follow Molly around and watch her sad life.â
I was referring to Molly my manky sister, in case you were confused. Sheâs one incredibly gruesome geek, and Iâm embarrassed Iâm even related to her if you must know.
âNow now, Kenny, enough of that,â Dad tutted. âFortunately for you Mollyâs still at Carliâs, but sheâll be back any minute.â He patted the empty cushion beside him on the sofa. âYou really ought to start watching the news you know, Kenny. Itâs always a good thing to be aware of whatâs happening in the world around you. I know this is going to come as a terrible shock, but the entire universe doesnât revolve around you, your Sleepover chums and Leicester City Football Club.â
âOh no, Dad!â I collapsed dramatically next to him. âYou mean there are other things out there too?â
Dad ruffled my hair and turned his attention back to the screen. To be absolutely honest with you, I was prepared to be bored out of my skull. I was even considering going back to my revision. But then up flashed this amazing footage of kids about my age doing these brilliant gymnastic routines. They were going from backflips into these wicked handstands where they actually did the splits in the air.